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why do you think men abuse women and children?

i dont get how someone can get enjoyment from hurting someone else and making them scared as hell. i just got out of an abusive relationship of 8 years..and even then im still blind to see how a guy can do this to the one(s) he loves. and now i have a friend going thru the same thing...its so insane..
and by the way there is no way in hell im going back to my husband...i finally learned my lesson he wont change....

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Asked by bonnie-jo at 6:13 PM on Dec. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I think the majority of men get some sort of rise or feeling of power from it. Some men will try to justify it with the Bible, and the whole "men are superior to women" thing (not all men will stoop that low, but whatever).

    And then I'm sure there are men who have mental illnesses and need help...those that actually get enjoyment and fun out of hurting others.

    It's sad either way. I'm glad you got out of a bad situation. My mom is in a verbally abusive relationship and I'm convinced she's going to die married to that horrible man *sigh*

    Answer by caitxrawks at 6:16 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Most abusers came from abusive homes so thats what they know and the continue the cycle of abuse. The same can be said of some women who enter abusive relationships, they may have seen it growing up themselves. Anyone who hits a child or woman in anger isnt a man in my eyes. They are just little insecure idiots who deserve to have their penis whacked a few times.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:27 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I'll sum it up in one word Cowards!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Val504 at 6:48 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • They lack control in some or all other aspects of their lives and this is an area in which they can completely control by using fear and physical harm.

    Answer by feesharose at 6:53 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • "Children learn what they live" was something I always heard when my kids were young. I'm guessing that's the main part of it. The initial abuse is inflicted and it's passed on. It's that bully mentality plus a familiarity they are comfortable with when they grow up. The feeling of power and dominance can be intoxicating to some. Some just love control. Try looking up "sociopath". I understood my abuser better when I researched why they do it. I'm no longer with my x who was an abuser and like you, I'd never go back.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:43 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Sanctioned: many traditional laws and religions, until recently, permitted or encouraged men to beat their wives (the reverse has not been true); Socialized behaviour: men learn to be violent toward women from their families and their fathers, and other male role models, especially those on television, in the movies, and in magazines; Systems failure: men often keep abusing because no one—not their families, not their friends, not the neighbours, not the police, not the media, the workplace, the church or the courts—no one effectively intervenes; Strategic: batterers inflict the greatest violence and the greatest damage when women try to leave. The strategy of abuse is to keep the woman from escaping; Successful: the man gets away with it, and gets his way; blamed on Substance abuse


    Answer by texasMOMto4 at 8:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I just want to say ANYONE who can abuse a child or harm them in any way is VERY sick and has NO need to be on this earth... ( sorry if this offends anyone but there is NO excuess for abusing a child its sick nasty and no way shap or form ok...)

    Answer by chloes_mommy05 at 9:00 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Violence teaches violence. Men who abuse women were usually abused as children. Or witnessed the abuse of others. They're taught if you don't like something, hit. If someone doesn't do what they're told, hit. If they do something wrong and are trying to teach you it's wrong, hit. They're never taught respect or love without fear. So they do what they know. Raise your children without fear and violence and the cycle will end.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:44 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

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