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9 Bumps

Do you think this seems obsessive?

My boyfriend and I have been together a couple months. He texts all day long and calls every chance he gets. I just got out of a relationship and I am overwhelmed by him. He exhausts me because I can't do anything without him texting. All he says is I love you I miss you. I am not sure I feel the same. He is pushing me away.

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reesemom

Asked by reesemom at 8:01 AM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,190 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • he can still care for you & not try to camp out in your butt hole..

    I would tell him that the constant texting & calling is too much & seems obsessive. Also, men who tend to do that are usually controlling....they want to know where you are, who you're with & all of that, If he texts you one day & you don't respond, it could turn ugly. That is a red flag in my book & i would let him know that it's a red flag in my book.

    I once had a boyfriend like that & he ended up being a control freak trying to micromanage my life. It was awful...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:16 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You can't make yourself feel the same way about him. It appears that some women on here don't understand that there's more to life than having a man like you. I would ask for some space while you evaluate your feelings. Smothering you is definitely the wrong way to keep you.
    Y.B.normal

    Answer by Y.B.normal at 8:19 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • maybe he has some co dependency issues.. sounds like hes a little afraid of you walking away.. u know what it makes me think of.. that girl on tiny toons.. that always suffocated the cats!
    MommaB30

    Answer by MommaB30 at 9:20 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I agree with meooma- that would drive me nuts, and it almost seems creepy. And it does sound like codependency issues, too, like he is afraid you don't like him as much as he likes you, and he is afraid of losing you. Just lay it out for him, and tell him you like him, but you are overwhelmed with all the texts and phone calls 24/7.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:31 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Have you talked to him about it?
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:33 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I see this as a red flag. I'm not sure what they are, but I think he has issues of some kind or other.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:36 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Does he not get to see you in person much or something? Offhand it seems a bit much for sure but I don't know much background. If you see each other regularly then it's too much and I'd have to put a stop to that. If he travels or is away alot then...it's still a bit much but maybe he feels he needs to while he's away? Hard to say. Chronic texting is no fun anyway, it gets in the way of alot of things. Would drive me nuts and probably put me in a bad mood daily, lol.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 9:38 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • It does seem over the top, but I also wonder if maybe it just bugs you so much because you just got out of a relationship? I don't know how long you were out of that relationship before you got into this one, but maybe you just weren't ready yet, and so this is bugging you because you're looking for a reason to get out.

    Personally, I would tell him that he is texting and calling too much. If he keeps doing it, try ignoring some of the texts and calls to see if he backs off. If I tried all that and he was still doing it and I just couldn't deal, I'd just break it off.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:48 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I don't see him much in person, he wants to see me for hours and when it is time to go he keeps stalling keeping me there. I don't have feelings for him yet so maybe that is why I can just leave like that but our relationship is still new.
    reesemom

    Comment by reesemom (original poster) at 10:29 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • There are more than one red flag on both sides. You have been with this guy a couple of months yet you just got out of a relationship. Maybe you didn't take enough time between relationships. He sounds codependent to be calling and texting so much. But also, if you don't have time to see him much, likely one more reason for the calling and texting, and if you don't have feelings for him why is he your boyfriend?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

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