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Custody/visitation? Please answer only if you are experienced with this.

Does my ex dh have to provide me with his address? He lives 4 hours away in the same state as me (SC). And that is where he has visitation. Would it be acceptable for me not to send her for visits until it is provided or could I be found in contempt of court?

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treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 10:10 AM on Jun. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • You can and should be found in contempt. The only thing he and you have to do is what's in writing. Why do you need his address? If you don't trust her father that should've been already brought up. I do have personal experience with custody/visitation with my own son and my step son, so I've played the mom and the wife/step mom I undertand both sides.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:13 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I'm not sure if you would be in contempt, however I do know that he HAS to give you his address and a phone number where you can reach your kids...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 10:13 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • thats something that should have been in your custody papers to begin with ......that BOTH parties have to give over their address......and yes you can be in contempt if theres nothing written about it and you dont hand the kid over sorry.....

    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:15 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You can ask that before he be given rights to visitation (declaration) he provide where he lives and contact information... the only time that info is protected is when the spouse hiding it has proof or reason to believe abuse from the other spouse (changes by state/county too)... look up your local laws!

    Contempt could be found on your part for refusing him visitation with his child, especially if you have no proof as to why (hear say doesn't count and even pictures of an ex with pot doesn't count, could be spices and a posed pic according to courts). You need character witnesses that are reliable, police reports, and other types of reports that are usable in court (doctor or therapist for the kid)... GL... simply wanting to know where he lives, he can legally use his mom's address to protect himself against you? Just stating the facts

    ~*Hugs*~... hope the best for you and the munchkin
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 10:18 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • In my papers it is stated that we had to provide current addresses and phone numbers to one another as long as my son was a minor.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:20 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Yes, he is supposed to give you his address. But, you cannot deny him his visitation without a court hearing about it first. I found this out the hard way. If you're worried about her safety, you can file a report with DHS, and go to court again, but if you withhold your child from her visitations for her safety, and the judge sees there was no reason for it, there can be severe reprocussions. In my case, I was keeping my dd for her protection, and the I'd called the court to see what steps needed to be taken for me to do it legally...and I was misinformed. BUT, the lady I had spoken to had noted the conversation in my files, so when told the judge I tried to do it the right way....he could see I was telling the truth. He also agreed...in my situation...I was just trying to protect my child. Not just trying to hurt her father. You should call your lawyer, or your court, and see what needs to be done in your situation.
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 10:20 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Yes you can be found in contempt if you do not send him for visitation, but you can get it added to the court papers that you need a current address/phone number. My agreement with my ex has that in it, along with phone privileges during my ex's visitation with the kids.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:24 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • There is no way I'd let my child go somewhere without me knowing where she is. You're the mother and deserve to know the address.
    Y.B.normal

    Answer by Y.B.normal at 10:31 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I had to call the police 2 weeks ago because they had not brought dd back and weren't answering their phones. Police asked for the address and I had no idea what it was. Very scary! If it makes a difference he has supervised visits supervised by his mom.
    treynlisa

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 10:50 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Yes, that makes a huge difference and you have to go back to court to address those issues. But until there is a signed order you can be found in comtempt. Should you? No, but the police will not go for "I don't trust him, so I'm not giving her up." They are only allowed to enforce a signed order by a judge, if they do otherwise they will be held accountable. Trust me, these things, sorry not things, but custody battles rarely get better, oftentimes much worse. Something we have to do when my DH son goes to visit him mother out of state is provide him with a cell phone that has a gps tracker and we know where he is at all times. He's had this phone for quite a while, yes nine is a bit rediculous to have a cell phone, but hey its worked and I think it would in situations like yours. Also that gps tracker can be turned off by her dad, but you can also put a password on it that only you and her know :) GL to momma.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 11:36 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

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