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4 Bumps

A whole new kind of deadbeat dad !

I have found a whole new kind of deadbeat dad -- the kind that doesnt want to take care of his kid, but makes people think he is a good guy for doing it !

6 years ago I got pregnant with my son, but I didnt find out until I had left the state and got into a new relationship... when finding out I looked the dad up, i tried to contact him, but no response. My boyfriend then decides he will raise my son as his own since he cant have kids of his own.

Well when my son was 5 my boyfriend and i broke up, he lost his job and stopped supporting my son... I decided then I should have done all along and contact his real father... At this time he was married and had 2 kids with his wife. I let him know he actually has 3 kids, not 2, and tell him about the last 5 years.

he is upset and says he needs time to think about what to do. He then tells me my ex boyfriend contacts him and says he also still wants my son in his life... my sons father says he was thinking of just signing his rights over and letting my ex raise him, because he said it could mess my son up changing dads after 5 years...

i called BS , and said he just didnt want to take care of his responsibility and that his wife was probably just mad and was calling the shots...

So then ( without talking to me ) my ex and sons father come to the conclusion that they will both see my son.

so to everyone else they both seem like they are father of the year and I am just considered a slut ...

and then it really ticks me off because now his father's wife is trying to squeeze in on the good parent (but not really) awards and fixes up a bedroom for my son and posts a ton of photos ( without my permission) of my son on her facebook, trying to make everything think she is an oh so great step mother...

It just makes me sick... these people were so willie nillie to sign over rights to my son, but now act like they wanted him all along -- just to loook good in front of people... and dont get me started on my ex, he still wants to act like the fun dad, but without actually supporting him...

i wish i had never even told either of them about my son... we would both be alot better off

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (32)
  • I can actually see BD's point. Why confuse the child further if he doesn't know. If the guy doesn't want any rights to him (and you didn't contact him for years) what is the harm in letting someone that your child KNOWS as "dad" be his dad?

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:22 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Terribly sorry you're going through this. That sounds awful :( I hope things get better for you. *hugs*

    Answer by YerMami24 at 11:22 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • zoejains_momma ... because his father made him and needed to task responsibility for his son... it is his own fault he wasnt in his life from the beginning, I sent him messages on his myspace and tried to call his house -- no response... and I am betting that was on purpose !

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • well you did drop the fatherhood bomb on the daddy after the fact, I still dont understand why you didnt tell him right when you found out you were pregnant.....youve made your bed, so to speak, now lie in it...

    Answer by michaux at 11:29 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • That would be annoying. You tried to contact him so he knew there was a child out there. Now he wants to play the good guy. Sucks but that is your life at this point. In the future pick the men in your life much better.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Welllll, how could they have wanted them before if he didn't know about him? If you just found out you had a 5 year old son, wouldn't you want to be with him too? It sounds like both "dads" are being very mature and responsible.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:40 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • People are so judgemental here. Sorry about all your baby daddies drama. Life will get better.

    Answer by My3Ez at 11:43 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • not only dads that do it i am a custodial step mum meaning i raise my step kids there mum dose nothing for them pays nothing for them yet makes out she mum of the year . ok she has gotten them 3 things over the last 5 years! but she only dose it if it will make her look great and even then its the cheapest rubbish she can bye . for example when my step daughter was starting school she begged to buy the school bags and pencils and i said ok but no pens there nto allowed them . i kept asking her for them and she say i will give them to you in a bit THE DAY before school started i got handed a pink bag out the $ store and a blue one for step son they wear tinny and no good for school and to top it off she got them pens!!!so i had to find the money the day before school to buy ok pencils and bags . and the mum went around saying how great she was she got there school bags and the kids loved them !!! wtf


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • she showed people photo i token of then and wrote under them " light of my life " yet she niver dune anything for the kids its all to make her look good i could go on a and on

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Apparently some of you can't read!! She tried contacting him when she found out she was pregnant!! I'm sorry you're going through this hun. *hug*

    Answer by sugamama3 at 12:39 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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