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2 Bumps

3rd Pregnancy, boyfriend wants to put it up for adoption

I just found out a couple weeks ago i'm pregnant (7 weeks today) with baby #3 although this is a diff. father I was on the pill but obviously that failed. I didn't want another kid now since i just got out of a divorce and need to really focus on my two other kids 4 and 2yrs. I have been with my new guy for over a year now and he doesn't want this baby at all, he wanted me to have an abortion but i told him there was no way in hell i could do that and now he wants to put it up for adoption because he says we cant afford it. My ex and I couldn't afford our other 2 but we somehow managed. I don't think i could have the heart to give my baby up maybe if it was my first child but not my 3rd. Has anyone gone threw anything like this, what did you end up doing?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • I couldn't give it up, I just couldn't. Good luck mama!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:53 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • you still have 33 weeks to get him used to the idea and maybe seeing the baby via ultrasound will convince him
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:53 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I could NEVER choose any man over my kids..♥
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • hugs Extremely sorry to see you going through this, and I couldn't even begin to imagine, and you can get all the advice you want from here... but in the end it'll all be you and what you can live with. I know what I personally would do, and you are going to have to do what you can live with

    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I say kick him to the curb and keep the baby! We r strong women! We can succeed without men if we need to!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:55 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Put your boyfriend up for adoption.

    I think if you give up your baby you will regret it every day for the rest of your life. Babies are not expensive. You don't need all of that fancy shit for them to survive or be happy. All you need are your boobs, some cloth diapers a couple of outfits and some blankets. You can get everything for very cheap or free thru craigslist and garage sales. Good luck to you! I am 8 weeks preg w number 3 now:) pm me if you want to chat:)
    bloomsr

    Answer by bloomsr at 11:58 AM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I say you still have months to change his mind. If he doesn't, it's completely up to you as far as what you chose to do. Personally, I couldn't give up my child after carrying it for 9 months but if that's what is in the child's best interest, I'd say go for it. HOWEVER!!! Do NOT let him decide for you. If you want to keep your child, keep it, and if he doesn't like it, he can leave. Their is a lot of support out there for single mothers...GL!!!!
    Dark-N-Prego

    Answer by Dark-N-Prego at 12:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • While I don't agree that babies are cheap, some do have health problems or are born with allergies like my second and by the time I found a doctor who listened to me, my milk was dried up and it was not even a certainty that she could have processed it anyway. She had to have a special formula that cost $25.00 a can which lasted 3 days. That said, money would not be determining factor in aborting, adopting, or keeping a baby for us. We know that there is no way those would be for us after looking into our children's faces all this time and knowing what that tiny baby I carry and give birth to becomes - our child.

    I'm sorry to say it because I'm sure the last you need is to read this but that guy sounds like a douche. If he changes his mind later on and decides he wants to be a dad, that would be wonderful. He has time to do that if he allows himself to be an adult. If he didn't want kids, he should have wrapped it up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Well... I think talking is a good idea. Express your thoughts then allow him to do the same.
    I couldn't give up a child myself... and i couldn't terminate a pregnancy either.... but he does have a say about how he feels about this situation. Let him express it.
    MyIslandGirls

    Answer by MyIslandGirls at 12:26 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I couldn't do it, and I wouldn't let a man, father of the child or not, determine whether I kept the baby or not. It sounds like you want this baby, and yeah, it would be good if you could convince him, but if you can't, then kick him to the curb and let him pay child support. Sure, he has his feelings, but you have yours too, and ultimately you are going to have to be the one to decide what happens. You are carrying the child, not him. I hope the two of you can come to terms with the pregnancy together. Congratulations and good luck, Momma!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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