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Do you ever put on your "brave face" about something you really want but can't have?

My husband and I have been looking for a house for over a year, and can't seem to find "our house". We have a lot of criteria to follow and not a lot of money to work with, which has made the search frustrating at times, and heartbreaking at others. Finally, a few months ago, we found the perfect place. We went to an open house, but it was way over our price range. When we tried to set up a day to check it out with a contractor (it was in rough shape and would require a rehab loan) they told us they had an offer and had accepted it. We were upset, but accepted that it had already been over our price and would have needed a lot more for the work to be done. A few weeks later, I was cruising the real estate site, and found that the house was still there, and for 20,000 less than it had been. I was elated, but my husband thought that there must have been more wrong than we thought for them to lower the price that much, like it needed a septic or something. He put the house out of his mind, but I just can't. I look at it online all the time, and just saw that they lowered the price again more than 50,000 off the original price they had set when we looked at it. It is still over our price range, but much closer than it had been, and I can't stop imagining and dreaming it is ours. I am a very smart person and I KNOW there is a lot wrong with the house, and I KNOW that right now we can't afford it, but I still dream about it and catch myself crying about it. My husband has forgotten about it, written it off in his mind as an impossible dream, but I just can't forget it. I told him last night that it was cheaper again and he sighed like "Are you still on that?" but didn't say anything. Why can't I just write it off like he has? I just can't let go!!


Asked by alphamom26 at 11:58 AM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Home & Garden

Level 17 (3,274 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • ~*Smiles*~... I remember those days, and litterally after looking at a ton of houses coming home feeling let down! I felt so bad for our realtor because she would try her hardest, research before hand, and we'd find soemthing that was a "deal Breaker"

    Keep faith, and keep looking, there is "the one" out there and when you find it you'll be able to look back and laugh at this part of it all

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Oh how I recall those Days.. We searched for years to get a house!! So many I had my heart & mind set on. Then after none of the existing homes being affordable. We saw the FMA government program. I could account for every penny of our money. He goes you don't have any Fun times or money planned. I said we don't need Fun. We'll have Fun once we get our home, making memories! Then we got into a program through the government. President Carter had this program. We were going to a get a small suitable home. On 1 Acre. We had the land and builder picked out. Then President Reagan got elected and that house program was discontinued. We went for more years or looking & waiting. We didn't get into our home until 12/21/86. We're still here! Kids have grown. Grandchildren born. Many Memories! Turns out Every home we ever dreamed of turned out to be Wrong. May you find your Right one! We're Jobless & Cancer I hope we won't lose it!

    Answer by Angellinda at 12:19 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You can't just go talk to the realtor and find out why the price was drastically reduced twice? I would. I mean, I would tell hubby that I just need to know for myself. There might be something seriously wrong with it, or more than one thing. It doesn't hurt to just talk. I'm afraid I would have to know for myself, lol. If they tell you it has major problems , maybe it will help put it out of your mind. Houses are soooo hard to buy and sell right now. Our neighbors have had 4 offers and all fell throught bcz no one can get approved. They are so tough on approval right now. Not like 5 yrs ago when anything goes. Anyway, yes...I have def had to put on that brave face for things and just tell myself 'someday'. I still have goals and dreams for us beyond this current house in town. I want acreage in the country. For now, I enjoy daydreaming though. Good Luck to you!!! :D

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 2:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • There might be something seriously wrong with it, or more than one thing.

    There likely is something majorly wrong with the place-


    Answer by Sisteract at 2:46 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • my mom did the same thing with this one house we almost bought! a house is just a house in a man's mind. well, you got attached, and that's ok, it was not meant to be. the same house my mother fell in love with ended up having a dead crow in the backyard which was sort of a bad sign! that was the reason she let it go. so think, all the stress that comes with having to pay back a loan is rolling of your shoulders...rolling off your shoulders

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Yeah, used to drive a high-end luxury car but lost it (was on lease anyway, so I had to turn it back in) and now I drive a Camry, don't like it but it is paid for and gets good gas mileage.

    Answer by tasches at 5:21 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • because as women we imagine our lives around things. I am betting you picked out wall colors, and how great this would look here and you can put this there. you imagined holidays and children running around in it already. its easier for men to just say oh well, but as women we get emotionally attached to something and its very hard to just let it go.
    Just know that if they are dropping the price of that house so very much Im sure there is ALOT wrong with it and what could have been your dream house would have probably turned into a nightmare. I am sure you will find YOUR house soon. good luck

    Answer by Leelee1008 at 11:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2011