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Godparents are never around, only on bdays..

Both godparents are my SO's best friends. They are not a couple or anything, and not mutual friends of each other. The godfather was around alot when I was pregnant and the first couple months baby was born. When he got involved with an old girlfriend (they are now newly married) he stopped being around completely. He is only around for her bday, she is going on 3 this November. He doesn't help with the bday or involved in any thing, just shows up, might I add late and sits there with his wife. Thu talk to no one and sit there like a bump on a log.
The god mother does practically the same thing except for the birthday she calls a week before, gives a hundred and one promises and doesn't go thru with anything except for buy groceries that I need to cook for the bday party. I appreciate everything they have done in the past, and the very very little they do now but I am a little annoyed that they have nothing to do with her. Every time I do talk to them they say they miss her etc but nothing is stopping them from seeing her but them. They have admitted, on their own I didn't ask them to, that they haven't been very good godparents and feel bad but like I sad nothing is stopping them from being here. Advice anyone?? Thanks

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Asked by ProudMammaMia at 2:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Unfortunately you can't force other to do what they should be doing... best you can do is smile, be glad they have a part at all in the child's life, and just do things on your own without their help? Peace is better than having the kid suffer for the reaction of a parent? Just an idea...

    Do what you think is right

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I have the same problem. The only time they would show up is for big things like first communion or something. They didn't even remember their names. Finally I asked someone else. They may not be godparents according to paper, but to us they are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • What is a god parent supposed to be? I thought these were people to care for your children should something happen to you and DH.....????

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:20 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I can't believe they didn't remember names!! I sent the godfather a text about the details for her bday and that it would be held on the 21st of that month. He said I already know her bday but when is her party. I sent him that is the day of her bday party NOT her bday, her actual bday is the 23rd. He gave me no response. Lol I think he felt really stupid. I didn't try to make him feel stupid but he shouldn't have stuck his foot in his mouth and if he read the text he would have known. He should know his own god daughter well enough to know her bday. Ugg I'm so annoyed. But I've gotten very good about not letting it bother me much.

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 2:24 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • GoDparents are like aunts an uncles except they would be responsible for your child if something happened to you. They agree with this definition as well but yet don't follow thru.

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 2:26 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • In many situation they are just the people who care for your child if something happens to you, which doesnt really require them to be around as long as you are ok. Start inviting them to things, e-mail them, and call them. If the still wont say anything or try in return then you should point out all the efforts at communication that you have made and ask why they dont return the favor. All in all it isnt thier job to plan your child's birthday party, you are her parent. If you want them to come to other things then invite them. If they dont come around after being directly invited that is thier loss. Look into the passibility of changing godparents?

    Answer by amber710 at 4:11 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I invite them to do things or watch her and they don't. They always say we wanna get together but don't actually do it. I ve been very direct and I'm getting tired of it. It's really them not making time. They don't want to be involved because if they did they would make time, ya know what I'm saying. We were going to have the whole ceremony but i ended up saying no because they aren't acting like it now so why the hell would I make a big ceremony for them.

    Comment by ProudMammaMia (original poster) at 4:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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