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What is the best way to deal with a neighbor kid like this?

Neighbor=b
Two yr older than my son
Calls daily and comes over no matter what we sAy. Is we say no, he lurks on outskirts of the yard! So if we go in the yard, he pounces.
My son has a close nit group of neighborhood friends HIS age. B seems to throw off group dynamic, like the fifth Beatle.
He really isn't a bad kid but will get fustrated and yell at the kids, we send him home when he does it and he will again come back saying his parents gave him a time out and that he is allowed to play.
Other than hiding indoors I don't know what to do here.
How do u nicely get a kid like that, who doesn't seem to have activities, camp or anything to occupy him away from your much younger child?

Answer Question
 
AmaliaD

Asked by AmaliaD at 2:56 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 22 (12,263 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • You need to have a chat with his parents.....for sure.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 2:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Call his parents and talk to them, you can't blame the child for not knowing.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:58 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • oh have I dealt with this before! UGH~
    when my boys were smaller we had a neighbor boy that would POUNCE as soon as we walked out the door, before he could see us, he heard us... UGH!

    I call it neglectful parents~ that's what my neighbor boy had- they let him roam and do whatever, just so they didn't have to mess w/ him.
    I would make him follow my rules and when he didnt I would tell him to go home and not come back til tomorrow and if he did something bad, I would say you aren't allowed to come back until I say you can come over and I call for you, which won't be for a few days.

    HTH.
    2teens2LOs

    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 2:59 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • He sounds like a very lonely little boy. Talk to his parents. He is just trying to have a friend and going about it all wrong because he doesn't know the proper way.
    AngelicaDem

    Answer by AngelicaDem at 3:00 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Option 1- talk to the kid like a person and see if that has an impact on him and i dont mean just tell him rules, actually talk to him like he has a brain why does he act the way he does, why doesnt he have any friends his own age, what do his parents do with him for fun, does he have brothers/sisters.. is his mom a single parent? get to know where this kids is coming from then you'll know which direction to take it.

    Option 2- go talk to his parents, who dont seem to care much about his underdeveloped social skills..
    girlglow6

    Answer by girlglow6 at 3:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Many people do not believe in or can not afford activity after activity.

    My kids do not have friends their own ages. My son didn't even get a directory at school, so Summer is hard. Sometimes when the neighbour kids (there are 15 or so ages 2-12) are playing outside, my kids will try to play (they are a couple years off too by age/sex), but since before we did not live near any kids, they are not experts at making friends. They are learning at school, but in Summer, it's a situation like "my kids already have friends their exact ages, they don't need yours". And when they DO have activities (they are in swim lessons now) it's such a short-term thing (and many kids are already in groups), that doesn't work.

    He is probably lonely and wants friends his age, but either there aren't any such kids around or they don't like him either. I would talk to him or his parents and try to help them. Maybe they don't know how to help him?
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 3:17 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I'd talk to the parents, and if that didn't get me anywhere, I'd tell him that he can't keep coming over uninvited and explain why.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 3:19 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • First aproach the boys parents with the situation. It is their responsibility to watch their child. In raising them we teach them right wrong and not to annoy the heck out of other people. They should be watching him more. Second every single time you see him in your yard tell him he needs to go home. You are the adult and there is no reason you should be hiding in your own house from any child. March yourself right out there and tell him to go home - Every time. Good luck to you. Have a great day.
    mashonad07

    Answer by mashonad07 at 3:24 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • We had this problem a lot when we were kids. We had the best yard in the neighborhood, a pool, and Mom made the BEST cookies :) But we always ended up with kids a few (or more) years older than us that bullied us and pushed us around. As soon as my parents found out about it (my older brother got a black eye defending me from a much older boy) they called all the parents of the offenders. It worked on most of them, but not all. One older kid (the one that hit my brother) is actually in prison right now, and the funny thing is it was my younger brother who arrested him, and my older brother is a guard at the prison he is in :) Funny how that works :)
    alphamom26

    Answer by alphamom26 at 3:32 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would talk to him. Tell him that just because he is older, that doesn't mean he is in charge and that if he continues this behavior, he won't be welcome back to play.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 4:13 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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