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How would you guys handle this??

My DH and I have been taking about having another kid. He has 2 girls and I have one boy. We were talking about having one together. The other night we were talking and he said would you be mad if I told you I didnt want to have another kid. He knows I want another one. What would you guys do??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I would say if both of you aren't ready for the idea, then it is time to put that on the back burner. Sorry.
    wenona_mandy

    Answer by wenona_mandy at 3:04 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • My husband and I discussed how many kids we wanted before we got married. If he had married me knowing I wanted another and then changed his mind, I would be upset.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:05 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • respect his opinion if you plan to be together, but he also needs to consider yours too. Allow time for an agreement, then decide for sure.
    2teens2LOs

    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 3:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • My SO told me he wanted a baby with me.. only to tell me later on he didnt. he only said that he did to make me shut up. When he did tell he didnt want one i was pissed. theres no reason to lie about something like that. he got my hopes up for no reason. we dont have a kid together and im guessing we never will. I got over the fact that he didnt want one bc i cant force a child on someone but he did cause and arugment over lying
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I swear this is a common man thing! I would love to have one more! I am not getting any younger. We are in the process of talking about having another. We have 5 total, 3 are mine from a previous and 1 previous from his first marriage and we have our little guy together! Maybe some time would help the situation. Pushing the subject may drive your guy to be totally turned off to the idea. I can related but give some time! Love to know how it goes...
    blessmeplease

    Answer by blessmeplease at 3:14 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • The problem with waiting on it is it isn't something you can do forever. It's something that can destroy a marriage. I would sit him down and tell him how important is is for you and then decide what you want to do. Are you willing to give up that dream for him or not?
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 3:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You should respect his feelings. Maybe he will change his mind but you shouldnt push him to have a child he isnt 100% sure he wants. It wouldnt be fair to the child. The new baby would be his responsability too and you dont want to give as big a job as neww father to a man who doesnt want to be one.
    The kids you have from other relationships may not be biologically both of yours but they are your children together. That is probably good enough for him.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 3:53 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • That's a premarital discussion. If he changed his mind, then the two of you need to really look at the reasons why. You might also end up changing YOUR mind. If you're the one who changed in the first place, you have to understand that you went in with one particular deal and have to be ready to make an argument in favor of the proposed change, understanding that he still may not go along with it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You have to respect his wishes too. My husband and I had two children together and I wanted more. He wanted to stop @ 2 because it was hard financially. I had to look @ the big picture and realize that having another one would be selfish because he was right. Every relationship is different but if you want another one and he's still on the fence about it..I'd keep pushing the idea : )

    805doll

    Answer by 805doll at 5:44 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I'm surprised this wasnt all agreed upon before marriage or maybe it was and then you began talking about it and he really didn't mean it when he said he DID want another child. Or maybe after re-thinking about all the responsibilities you currently have the idea of starting all over with another little on scared him?? I don't know but if ...both aren't ready and willing. I would say it's a no go then. It would cause resentment and alot of problems later most likely. We see it all the time.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 8:15 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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