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My husband & friend of 18 years (more like a sister) can't get along.

We've all known each other about 15 yrs. They always had a love/hate relationship & recently after a 3rd argument this year decided they're both done. This is actually fine w me I'd rather the peace then back & forth. I'm trying to remain neutral keeping my relationship w both separate & healthy! Only complication is my friend's wedding is 4 months away. I'm one of her matron's of honor, both my kids are in it. Now that her & hubby want nothing to do with each other what do I do? Still all of the wedding stuff? Go to reception without him? (awkward!) or just part of it like go to ceremony still be in it but not attend reception? Please help! Any advice much appreciated.

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confusedmomma67

Asked by confusedmomma67 at 4:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If you're the matron of honor, you really need to attend the whole thing. I would guess you bring the kids and leave your husband at home. I'm sure he'll survive a day without you.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 4:55 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I agree, you go ahead and go and enjoy yourself and support your best friend- and your hubs should stay at home. Or he even come get the kids when they need to go to bed and you can continue enjoying yourself! It is your best friends wedding!
    cheapsally

    Answer by cheapsally at 4:57 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Thank you for the quick feedback!! I know he'll be fine w/o me :) Just guess it's a weird position for me to be in & needed opinions on if it's wrong to go as an "incomplete family" or not. Feeling more reassured now.
    confusedmomma67

    Comment by confusedmomma67 (original poster) at 5:01 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • If husband does not want you to go, your place is with your husband. JMO
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:16 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Be very careful with that because you are walking a fine line. Consider if the shoe was on the other foot. I had a best friend of 26 years (I am 32) and have stuck up for her through all arguments. In the end, your friend is only that and can leave your side at the drop of a hat. Your husband will always be there through thick and thin. Respect him through this and ask him what he would and wouldn't be comfortable with.
    805doll

    Answer by 805doll at 5:20 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • go ahead with your original plans. its your best friends wedding :) go enjoy it & support her. your husband will be fine & should understand
    ciaras_mom_05

    Answer by ciaras_mom_05 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I'd talk it over I ask them if they could declare a truce for the day explain to your husband that you feel torn in this but since your already obligated ask if he would attend just because you'd rather not go alone see if both of them can agree to put aside their reasons to be done... for just one day they should be able to compromise as well....... I hope all goes well good luck!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 5:45 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would suggest that you talk to your DH about it. Although he doesn't get along with your best friend, he should still respect your friendship. Ask him if he would be willing to go to the reception with you, AND behave himself for the day, just because he loves you! How many times have you had to do things with HIS friends, or his boss, or his relatives that you weren't too crazy about? Relationships are funny. We don't each give 50% to each other. We should both give 100%!
    If DH is going to be juvenile about it and not go, then just you and the kids go and have a good time. Do not skip the reception or the wedding. It's not too awkward to go without a spouse. Lots of single people go to weddings, and not just to pick up dates, either. After the food is served and people start talking and milling around, and dancing, no one's going to remember who came are part of a two-some, and who didn't.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:33 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

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