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He dh got mad about a spot job that was offered to me..

This guy text me today about wanting some help painting 3 rooms in the house he just bought. i wouldnt really call the guy a close friend, i met him 4 years ago when i first moved into my duplex. he works for the company that my landlord hired to do the yard work. shortly after i moved in he added me on fb saying he went to high school with my husband. later on gave him my cell number so he could let me know what days they will be mowing since if varies from week to week and we have a swing set and other stuff in the yard that would have to be moved and its easier to move prior to them coming over verses going out while they are here. He recently married my best friend's cousin, the cousin having cancer and recently had a tumor removed from somewhere in the side of her head, i dont know all the details but i know she has been really sick. he wanted to get the house done as quickly as possible and his wife cant help with painting the rooms cause of her chemo and radaition treatments leave her exhausted. and this guy knows that we could use the extra money, and its only going to be 3 hours or less of work, depending if his dad gets off that day from work. while ill only be getting paid 50, not a whole lot but im fine with that. my husband was so mad when i brought this up to him today and says im lying about him being married, even after he talked to my friend ans she told him the situation he still doesnt want me to go over there to help. I have NEVER given him a reason to not trust me. I stay at home most of the time and when i do go out its with my mom and my kids are always in tow. My dh has complained that i cant find a job and that i should take whatever i can get to get extra money. I trying to decide if i should go ahead and help paint this coming Saturday or not. that extra 50 could buy food besides if i help they will get done sooner so the guy can spend time with his wife that afternoon. he wanted to take her out to dinner so wanted to get done as soon as possible on saturday, also the sooner its done the sooner its dry and they can move into their house. right now they are staying with my best friend in a small 3 bedroom house and she has 4 kids, very cramped.
what would you do?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • your kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place .... does your husband work sat?have him go instead of you if you really need the's wrong for him not to trust but maybe it's not you that he's not trusting....or have him go with you... either way. I'd want to help but maybe your husband is seeing something you don't....


    Answer by traren at 5:34 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Get a sitter and tell dh he can come help you paint.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:31 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would just go ahead and paint the place, it's not a whole lot of money but it helps and it's from the goodness of your heart. Its okay that your husband is upset, he might feel like he isn't taking the bread and butter home. My spouse had a difficult time when i started working full-time permenant but he adjusted and realized what i had to do to help take care of our family.

    Answer by MissKLJ at 5:33 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would discover the paragraph.

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 6:14 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • It sounds like you have more going on between you and your DH than just this issue. This is a symptom, not a problem of itself. You and your DH should seriously consider couples therapy. At the very least, maybe a marriage enrichment workshop. The Catholic Church sponsors a lot of marriage retreats, and they are often "good-will offering" rather than a set fee. However, for this painting job, ask your DH to come with you. Let him meet the guy and his sick wife. I would suggest that for ANY painting job, regardless of whom the work is being done for, just as a safety precaution. The world is a dangerous place, and it is just like a man to want to protect his wife. Once your DH meets the couple, if he STILL does not want you to do the work, then don't. Fifty dollars is not worth a divorce. Show him you love him by listening to him. Respect him, and he may learn to respect you again.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:28 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • my husband already knows the guy, they went to high school together, my husband says he doesnt like the guy cause of what happend with his ex girlfriend. she was cheating on him and told him she was at one place but really be with a man and one night he had a friend follow her and that friend called the guy and he went over to the guy she was cheating with's house and confronted both of them and then left her, he moved back into his parents and she got evicted from her house cause he was the only one working. my dh said he is an a-hole because of that and not a good person, but really who would stay and support a cheating girlfriend. and as far as my friend's sick cousin he said that me, my friend, her cousin, and this guy are all lying about her cancer.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:39 PM on Jun. 28, 2011