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2 Bumps

Wouldn't you leave him as well?

My boyfriend and I have been together going on 3 years. We had a conversation a few days ago about where this was going and he told me that he never plans on marrying me so let that thought go! My daughter and I are moving out this Saturday. I can't stay with a guy who doesn't respect me enough to see marriage in our future.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • What a douchebag. At least you are able to still get out now. You learned a hard lesson. I am so glad though that you are able to see that he doesn't respect you enough to see marriage in the future. I agree that it's best probably not to move in with another guy until you're married. You did the right thing by leaving. Don't let him try to guilt you into staying in the relationship or moving back. He just wants benefits without the commitment. Don't waste time with him. Spend your time meeting other people and just think that any time you waste on this loser is one chance you may have missed meeting the right guy. Also, for every guy you meet, ask yourself if he's truly right for you. My motto is "Just because he's nice, it doesn't mean he's right." A guy doesn't have to be totally evil to be a bad match.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 5:36 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... I am sorry that you wasted three years of your life on someone that does not love and respect you like you deserve! In all honesty, I wouldn't stay with soemone like that either... I am worth a hell of a lot more... and good for you for wanting and seeing you are worth more too

    Just don't let this make you bitter... there are some really amazing men out there, and that will deserve you and all you have to offer
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 7:49 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • After the whole grieving thing and you do eventually hit the dating scene again.. raise the bar and be picky... make sure they deserve you and your daughter
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 7:50 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • You two want two different things. time to move on. Would have been nice if he would have told you a couple years ago.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I know this sounds old-fashioned, but you want marriage, then don't move in with a guy. The age-old expression, "Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?" is more true than funny. Of course, I've heard women make up similar ones - "Why buy a sausage, when you can eat yours for free?" Anyway, the act of not sleeping with someone until marriage means more than the state of your virginity or lack thereof. IFyou and your SO can both abstain from sex during the courtship (with each other or anyone else) it is a sign that you can both promise fidelity after the marriage. Besides, it is very hard on children to have temporary dads moving in and out all the time. They may lose the ability to trust in the next father-figure they meet. You might also make a hard rule, "No meeting my daughter, period, until after an engagement". It will protect her from the hurts of the dating game.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would leave too. If he isn't committed enough to you to see marriage in your future than why waste anymore time then you already have.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 7:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I have been happily unmarried to my LP for the last 14 years, but if you want to be married and he is telling you outright that it will never happen, you should leave. He will either change his tune, or you will be able to move on and find someone who is willing to make that commitment to you.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:15 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I am on your side. If you want marriage and he doesn't, then he has been strining you along, getting all the benefits without making the commitment and without the responsibilty.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 8:21 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • did he say why he didnt want to marry you? if i had to do it over again i wouldnt of got married, i got talked into it my husbands parents who said it was the right thing to do, i would of been happy just living together and have a long term commitment without the papers. to me those papers dont make me love him any more or less. before you leave ask yourself, do you really love this guy? how is he with your daughter? does he love you? show affection? i personally think there is more to a committed relationship and love than marriage. i know of one couple who has been together 30 years and are very happy but they are not married. if being married means more to you than anything else then leave, but please make sure you are looking at the whole picture and not one aspect of it.
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 8:06 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • truthfully i wouldn't have shacked up in the first place since that is usually what happens.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:20 PM on Jun. 28, 2011