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Should I mmake him pay for therapy?

My husband and I are getting a divorce and my 5 year old isn't having issues with the divorcce itself. He is having issues with the problems that we had before the divorce. His dad would yell at me in front of him and talk down to me and show his anger in violent ways all in front of him. He even went as far as putting his hands on me in front of him. I feel that my 5 year old needs therapy and my question is should I make him pay for it? i feel that it is his fault that he is having the issues because of him and I feel that he should help me deal with it.

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2_amazing_boys

Asked by 2_amazing_boys at 8:03 PM on Jun. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (91 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • ~*Both*~... yes a divorce hurts, and most are bitter... but BOTH parents are at fault... so both should split the costs
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 8:05 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I agree. You should split the costs. He NEVER should have acted like that in front of your child, but you could have done more to stop it. Walk away, or left earlier maybe?? But, yes, he should have to pay half. And, the courts will order him to if you request it.
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 8:07 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Try to put it in the divorce.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • If you think it is 100% hubby's fault... why did you allow him to act like that in front of the kids? I know it sounds like a harsh question, not pointing fingers, but it take two to argue and fight... did you attempt to remove kids from it? Protect what they witnessed? Fights are hard to haveif they are one sided...

    And I know, been there, my eldest son's father was pure hell and it took me years to see where I was at fault and not make the same mistakes with the next person... I too blamed my ex for everything... his cheating... his pot smoking... his fighting... in the end it is just two adults fighting with kids stuck in the middle and a pawn between them???
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 8:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I would leave it up to the divorce decree and child support order. In all likelihood, he will be ordered to provide insurance and pay the bulk of uncovered medical expenses.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:09 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • Isn't it covered by your health insurance anyway? Split the copay and don't sweat it. If every little thing is a fight, you will never be able to deal with each other. Look at it this way, your child is 1/2 yours and 1/2 his. You each are 1/2 responsible for his continued care. It doesn't matter what caused his need for therapy. Maybe your son would have needed therapy for something else. I don't think there is any one thing that causes the need for therapy in this situation. It is probably a combination of things that happened in the past, the divorce, insecurities, etc.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 8:48 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • He might have done the things that your son has issues with, but you allowed him to do them. Not saying it's your fault, but still...does take two.

    If you think your son needs therapy to deal with it all, then get him into therapy. Don't play around fighting over who should pay for it or whose fault it is. Just get the child the help he needs, if he needs it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:52 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • IDK,, if you let your husband put his hands on you more than once in front of him, I think that you should split it... no body is to blame for everything, and you really didn't give enough info into the where when and what was going on.. I think just be glad it is over, and take care of your boy.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:22 PM on Jun. 28, 2011

  • I willingly take half responsibility for the way my eldest is right now because I should have left before it came to the point that it was at when I finally left. The problem is that my ex thinks that he did nothing wrong. That it is all my fault. Anything that I ask for from him is a fight no matter how simple or complex. He is always angry and hateful and I'm only trying to make things easier on my boys. So, I now communicate through his parents so that I don't get mad too. My issue is that I was told that when I left that it became my responsibilty to take care of them when I left. So, I guess the only way is in the divorce, but I really wish that we could deal with it simply.
    2_amazing_boys

    Comment by 2_amazing_boys (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

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