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i have two step daughters and one wont do nothing for her self shes 6 and expects me to wipe her after using the potty any suggestions on how to make her less needy??

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Asked by steffy87 at 9:22 PM on Dec. 14, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • What kind of relationship does she have w/ BM?


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 9:42 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • If this is something her BM does, you are in for a struggle. I would let her know in no uncertain terms that she is old enough to wipe herself and not do it for her. What does her dad say about this?

    Answer by afdavis27 at 10:04 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • The only way to teach her not to do it is to flat out tell her you won't. Make sure hubby is onboard cuz otherwise she'll go straight to him. I have a 5 year old stepdaughter who I love dearly but who has a really bad attitude problem. It's gotten worse since my husband's been gone. He's in the military and been gone 3 months. If she gets an attitude she gets time out, if she keeps it up she gets a spanking. It's that simple.

    Obviously not the exact same but if she won't wipe her butt then don't do it for her and tell her that she will get in trouble every time she has dirty underwear. Make her wash them or whatever punishment you deem sufficent but she isn't incapable of taking care of herself, she just doesn't want to.

    Answer by airmanswife1006 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Make her do it! My SS came to us the same way at 4 1/2. I showed him how to get dressed because he said he couldn't do it. Then I left him there to do it and he struggled and whined for like 1/2 hour and I just left him lay there. I said, "Well we can't go to the library till you're dressed or you can out without your pants on. Everyone is going to be wondering why you're just wearing a shirt, underwear, and no pants." I didn't give in to his whining about it, even when he put them on backwards (on purpose, to show he couldn't do it, because I had PUT his feet in the right way to start) I took them off, flipped them around and made him start again and wandered away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Magically he came out 5 mins later with them on perfectly. We had the same struggle with shoes, wiping after the bathroom, etc. He now can do quite a bit for himself, and I'm teaching him a whole lot more (shoe tying is still a struggling but we're working on it.)

    Teach her and don't do it for her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • You shouldn't wipe a butt older than 3, IMO, unless they have been sick and have a real mess.
    K-garten teachers are not going to wipe for her - she has to learn to do it herself. If the BM won't make her, fine, but don't do it at your house.

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 9:00 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Just refuse to do it...Let her sit there for as long as it takes. My 4 yr old still calls me to check if hes clean but he has finally started doing it himself.

    Answer by thats_karma at 3:46 PM on Dec. 18, 2008

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