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I am really worried about how I will react... Will it happen? Own child vs. step child...

I have a four year old autistic step son that I totally love and adore. I am so worried that when my own child is born that I will not love my step son as much as my own. I want to love and care for them equally.

Have any of you been through this? Do you think it will happen? Is it normal?????

Answer Question

Asked by girlneffy at 8:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I have never been through what you are going through but you will pay more attention to the baby since it is your first. but you will love them both as if your step son is yours too. you will love them equally and care for them the same.
    it is very normal to pay more attention to you first born for a awhile then before you know it it will feel like you have had both children all your life.

    Answer by mommy-in-pink at 9:09 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • I went through the same thing. I knew my step daughter as a baby and cared for her as if she were my own. After my son was born, there was a huge difference in the way I felt. But then again, my husband and his ex were going through custody stuff and I didn't see my step daughter for a few months after my son was born. Hopefully you won't have the same problem. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Jul. 12, 2008

  • honestly i think it would be natural to love your son more than your step son, it would be a different kind of love you know?

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:31 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Well, I think that is a perfectly normal concern.. However, I do praise you for thinking about this now.. just the idea that you are concerned tells me you will do fine... Just please realize it is a very big step for any child, more so for a step.. Be sure to include him and make him feel important.. Be patient and show him how to care for the baby... Autistic or not, I think the same rules would apply.

    Answer by pupmom at 1:35 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I think that as long as you go into this open minded you'll love both children equally. Your step son is young enough that you can love him as your own. The bond you might have with your biological child is going to be different then it will be with your stepson, but the fact that you are thinking about this means you care enough about your stepson to worry about him.

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:37 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • i had that fear when i was pregnant with my 2nd, and my first was my own! to me it sounds like u basically think of ur ss as ur own, so i really doubt that u will end up treating him differently.

    Answer by kissmiss213 at 2:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I have two children and I love each child totally and completely but in different ways and for different reasons. Kind of like if you have siblings - do you love one more than other? Or your parents - do you love your mom more than your dad? You might Like them for different reasons but you Love them equally.

    Answer by NettieMae at 1:51 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

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