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2 Bumps

My Daughter's bf is'nt being very nice to her....anybody else have this problem?

They have been going out for about 5 months. Known eachother from school and took classes together since Freshman year. But did'nt date till now. They hardly ever see eachother (lives 2 miles away), he is always busy. They have not even been on a date, like lunch or movie. A month or so ago he went to a movie with friends (so he said) but then later it came out that he went with an ex and friends. And the ex drove him home last. I told her....#1 he lied to her and did'nt tell her her the truth. Only because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think he's cheating on her, i have tried to tell her in the nicest way i could to move on.....you deserve better but she continues to put up with waiting for hours till he texts her again. And then of course in the meantime is.......Sad, mad, crabby, cries and so forth. I have told her get your mind off things and go do some comm. service or get a part-time job. But nothing.....they are both 17

Answer Question
 
4theloveofTink

Asked by 4theloveofTink at 8:55 AM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 18 (6,063 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Live and learn.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 8:57 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You'll never get through to her. She just has to learn the hard way. Rationality is no match for strong emotions, especially in a teenager.
    cypressandsage

    Answer by cypressandsage at 8:59 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • my mom used to say "un clavo saca a otro clavo" (use a nail to take out another nail)
    try to get her interested in going places with you that would have more kids her age. See if she would get interested in another boy that could make her fall head over heels.
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 8:59 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I remember these days of being a teen and having boyfriends. I can remember one that did this exact thing to me. I dumped his ass and im really glad that i did because i did find out he was cheating on me. He still to this day is a "player" and with different girls weekly. Your daugther really deserves to be treated like a princess and no less. She shouldnt put up with that from him, and you shouldnt tollerate it. Maybe have a talk with her boyfriend and see what the problem is. Shes still young enough to where you can tell her that she needs to break it off with him. I guarntee if she does that it wont be long before she sees him with another girl, maybe even his ex. Then she will really see that he didnt care about her. Good luck with everything
    Amberlovesher3

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 9:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • if she were to get a job,he would probably make her pay for things. They have been going together for 5 months? How does that work exactly? They have not even been on a date!! He is using her! What is he busy with? She clearly likes him way more then he likes her!! She really needs to drop the zero and get herself a hero! Drop the loser,find a guy that likes her the same way she likes him! She is just wasting her time with this one!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 9:15 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You have to leave it alone. You said your peace and thats all you can do. Its so hard at this age and as they get older to see them do things you know is a trainwreck waiting to happen. But its a life lesson.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:26 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I agree with gemgem- you can voice your opinion and then just be there for her and dont nag, Tell her that you teach people how to treat you and she is letting him know that he can treat her like crap and she will still be there for her when he needs something. Does she want a part time boyfriend? Mabye try and work on her self esteem- compliment her so she feels like she deserves better. When I hear women nag about the way men are - I think we as woman have lowered our standards or just settled. We cant do that.
    cluemein

    Answer by cluemein at 2:59 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • She should have a job anyway and she shouldnt be like that to you no matter what is going on. You should put your foot down. Dont pay for a phone for her unless she gets a job and makes an effort. She cant spend all her time focused on this boy who doesnt even treat her right. She isnt going to advocate for herself...you will have to do it for her.

    Right now she thinks he is the world but later in life when she has work experience to put on a resume or pictures of herself out doing things with her life, she will realize it was more important and you were right.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 3:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • you can't tell a teen anything nowadays about their bf/gf. You just hope they open their eyes in time for them to see what kind of person their bf/gf really are. i'm dealing with both and my kids are 20 and 18 and both of their bf/gf's are psycho/bully jerks but i have to deal and hope for the best.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 4:16 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I think that right now, your daughter can't see beyond this one guy to the fact that there is a whole world full of guys that would treat her like the amazing young woman that she is. What I would do would be to constantly reaffirm her as a person and just be there through this time. She is most likely going to have to learn the hard way, and doesn't need you to harp on the subject, because that will just drive her further into this creeps arms... As soon as she figures out for herself that she doesn't deserve this, then she will be the one to make that descision to dump this guy like a hot potato.... lol. This sucks for you right now to watch your daughter have to go through this, but this is a part of the growing up process... Best of Luck to you!
    momof2redhedz

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 3:57 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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