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Would you take it as emotional abuse?

I hate when my boyfriend drinks and he knows it. He wont get drunk very much, just usually buzzed. But he gets so mean when he drinks. Like if i dont do something he wants sexually he'll get mad. He wont hit me or anything like that but it just hurts emotionally. I feel so bad sometimes. But why should i feel bad for not doing something i dont wanna do? Tonight we were at his friends house and he was drinkin and he kept tellin me things like "just wait until tonight" and "We can cuddle naked" and im 34 weeks pregnant so sex is like the last thing on my mind right now and i dont want it. Im just uncomfortable all the time and im not in the mood. A little bit ago he came into the room while i was watching tv and he started hugging me and he sqeezed my boob so hard it hurt. I know he's drunk and he doesnt mean to hurt me but i dont know how to tell him i dont want to without him getting mad. Do you think this is emotional abuse?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Dec. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • you getting upset that he drinks is not him committing emotional abuse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Its not me getting upset that he drinks, its the way he treats me...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • It sounds like he has an alcohol problem. My (alcoholic) ex did the same kind of things, I just hope your boyfriend isn't doing anything worse like my ex did.
    AriMicSun

    Answer by AriMicSun at 11:47 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • I would talk to him about it and watch for his response. If he isnt upset that he is treating you this way I would regard it as both emotional abuse and an alcohol problem. My own experience has taught me that people dont really change when they drink they just lower their inhibitions and bring out the worst of themselves. Perhaps he is just being selfish and immature but even if he is young he is having a child with you so he needs to grow up or move on!
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 11:54 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • Yes, and he know's it bother's you, girl you are better off with out that jerk, and your kid or kids, aren't you afraid of them getting hurt? What about all the people and families who have died b/c of drunk driver's?!?!?!?!?!?!? He needs help and counseling for you both to work together, and if he doesn't get better then I'd leave his @ss.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 11:54 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • This is just really bothering me. I feel kinda depressed now. I dont know what to do...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Sounds like he's not just a mean drunk, but a jerk on top of it. You need to realize that he shouldn't be treating you that way...you have every right to be cherished and adored....not have your (probably) already tender breasts squeezed, and made to feel like a piece of meat that is there simply for his pleasure! I'm sorry, this just really makes me so mad.
    Yes it IS definitely emotional abuse, bordering on physical abuse, and it's not your fault! Maybe try talking to him about this when he's not drunk, and letting him know how close he is to losing you. Insist on some kind of treatment for him for you and the baby's sake....just, for God's sake....BE CAREFUL! It sounds to me like it could take an ugly turn at any time. Make a plan for getting the hell out of there in a hurry if you need to. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS ! ! ! !
    leeceeann

    Answer by leeceeann at 1:10 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Ok...now I'm just so worried about you that it's making me crazy! I have to get off the computer now....but please message me privately and let me know how you're doing. I promise I won't keep bashing him or anything, I know my answer sounded a little harsh...I understand how you feel and have been exactly where you are. If you need a friend...I'll be here for you.
    leeceeann

    Answer by leeceeann at 1:24 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I dont know if i would call this emotional abuse.....but im kinda hard headed and can give it right back.... remember people only do to you what you let them do... About being pregnant and not wanting it I know how you feel im 36 wks and am in sooooo much pain but i still know that i need to have sex with my SO and not reject him....men dont understand how we feel and y we may not want to hump like rabbits the whole time we are pregnant or that they might be sqeezing our boobs too hard or anything like that some of them just dont get it!! My SO gets pretty stupid when he drinks too so iv just learned not to speak to him when he has been drinking cause it just ends up being world war 3 so i just keep my mouth shut til later or evaluate if its really that important to bring up anyway and then go from there!! GOOD LUCK!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:43 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

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