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How to deal with my mother?

My mom and I have had a very rocky relationship. She has been struggling with alcoholism and quitting smoking for years now. I have a very hard time trusting her since every time she makes me a promise there is never any follow through. I love my mom no matter what and I want her to have a relationship with her grandchild, but I do not feel comfortable with her having my daughter by herself when she is born. She is already pressurring the issue and my baby isn't due until September. I just don't know how to deal with it, with out getting into a hurtful argument. Any advice??

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catieb

Asked by catieb at 10:06 AM on Jun. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Well for a while you can just play the new mom card, your just not ready to leave her yet. Maybe over time there will be some trust built. What if she wants to watch her but she has to come to your house to do it. No smoking, no alcohol avail??
    MommaB30

    Answer by MommaB30 at 10:09 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Sweetie you have to take control of your life and be strong for you and your child. You can love your mom and love yourself. Standing up to her doesn't mean hating her. Yes, she will be upset. Yes, she will pout. Yes, she will say some upsetting things. But you have to hold your ground. The safety of your child comes first.

    Be honest, loving and respectful. It is your life and your family, her habits are not healthy or safe and thats an issue. You would not let a stranger around your child with these traits, just because she's family doesn't make her less dangerous. Be kind, but be firm. GL
    sipn_mom

    Answer by sipn_mom at 10:33 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • i say be brutaly honest you have no problem with her visiting the baby as long as she is smoke and drink free but you will not be leaving your child alone with her because of the issues.....it just might be the wake up call she needs ....good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:01 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Attend some Alanon meetings.
    You will see that your relationship with your alcoholic mother is NOT normal.
    Best of luck to you!
    MamaMia9999

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 10:59 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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