Going through a long touch divorce and we share two young boys, 3 and 5....my husband while together had very little to do with our kids. He was abusive to me and our family pet but never layed a finger on our kids other than whipping them way to often and way too hard in my opinion. I left him and he is now still trying to control my life and is putting on what I believe to be a big show for the courts that he wants his kids and custody to be 50/50 I think only out of spite because he cannot figure out any other way to hurt me anymore other than taking kids more than I want him to have them because he knows they are my entire world and everyday spent away from them feels like hell. When he does have the kids he spends alot of that time leaving them with his mother and when I offer to take them if he wants to go somewhere without them, I am told f*ck you they are on my time and I will do what I want with them. He has went as far as having me falsely arrested 2 weeks after leaving him when I came to pick the kids up and claimed I hit him in an attempt to make me look like a bad mother to get his 50/50 custody. I did not hit him. We have court coming up in 3 weeks and he is so good at lieing and munipulating and putting on fake shows i am terrified he will fool the judge and my kids are going to be spending way too much time with the dad that didn't give them any attention unless he was "diciplining" them and now is using them as pons and amo against me. My kids dont deserve this and i am beyond heartbroken and would almost preferred to have stayed with him and have my ass beat and controlled the rest of my life so that I could at least be with them everyday because if he gets what he is going for our children will grow up to be far from the gentlemen I want them to be raised as. He has told them..no women deserve respect and to never get married because they are all the same, worthless whores unless they are cleaning or cooking your meal. He has pulled his pants down and stuck his butt up against my car window while kids were in back seat and they of couse thought it was funny and now do it too and my son is to start kindergarten next year and trying my best to undo everyother day what damage he does to them and teaches them but I need help cuz between him and the court system I feel like I am fighting a battle to save my kids future with my hands tied behind my back and loosing all control just for trying to get away from him and start a new better life for me and my boys. Please all and any advice will be greatly appreciated!Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by takes_a_village at 10:41 AM on Jun. 29, 2011
Answer by Jeswife44 at 10:44 AM on Jun. 29, 2011
Answer by missanc at 10:45 AM on Jun. 29, 2011
get an advocate for yourself and your children.....ask the courts to send you to a mediator and they will speak with the children and both of you separately and then give the judge their recommendations at to what custody should be.....
Answer by cara124 at 10:46 AM on Jun. 29, 2011
I know it is really Hard to stand up to your Abuser but, in order to get your life back & more importantly- keep your kids Safe you are going to have to Fight Harder than you Ever have in your life! you need to get a lawyer that only deals w/ Divorce & Custody; they know how to deal w/ Bullies like your husband.. you have a Right to tell your story about the Abuse that has went on- Do Not let him continue to Scare & Control you- check & see if you have Interact in your area- they are a great group that will help you w/ Abuse & Court Issues- wishing you Lots of Luck!
Answer by daisyb at 12:53 PM on Jun. 29, 2011
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