Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What to do....need advice.

So, my hubby and I have been trying to move our family to another state. For reasons as the area we want to live in is a great place to raise a family & the school district there is top of the line (5 star schools). BUT my problem is my mother does not want me to move. She thinks I have to live 5 minutes from her or she will have a breakdown. We are not super close and we only see each other a couple times a week, but she says she doesn't want me to move the grandkids away. Although...........she really doesn't spend much time with them. We only want to move 2 1/2 hours away. I am even willing to come back and visit one weekend a month. My hubby has a job interview lined up out there. My question is would you move for your family or stay to keep your mother happy?

Answer Question

Asked by stephensmom26 at 11:14 AM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (886 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Move, 2.5 hours away is NOTHING.

    Answer by Dahis at 11:15 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I would do it for my family...but i really dont care for my mother so i always choose my family over her. I say do it...explain to her you will come back to visit and whatnot but you and dh made this decision and you'd rather do it than stay just to satisfy her. hope this helps.

    Answer by YerMami24 at 11:16 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You are an adult. My parents had no say in where I moved....I live 23 hours away from my parents and about 50 some hours away from my ILs....they would like to see us more, but that's just the way it is. (Besides we don't have a choice, my hubby is AF).

    Answer by AF4life at 11:16 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I would move my family. It's difficult, but your motives are to provide a better life and greater opportunities for your family. You are willing to make compromises that mean your mother will still be included which is generous.

    Good luck on your husband's interview! :)

    Answer by Nonoluna at 11:17 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • If the move is better for your family, your mom should understand. I would sit her down, and expain to her that, although this move may be hard on her, she needs to understand that your are moving so your kids can have a better life. Also let her know she is welcome to come by any time, and you will be visiting when you can... Good luck

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:17 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I'd move you have to think about your family and what they need. And 2 1/2 hours may seem like a lot but if she really wants to having anything to do with the kids then she will be willing to make the effort to come see you all.

    Answer by Vivian0331 at 11:18 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I would do what is best for my family. My mother is the same way, she doesn't want me living more than an hour away from her. At the end of the day your mother should realize that you are doing what is the best for your family and she should respect that. It may take some time for her to get over it but eventually she will if she wants to continue to have a relationship with you and her grandchildren. Just be strong and do what you feel is best for your family.

    Answer by catieb at 11:23 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Your mother is being selfish. You need to do what is best for your family. Your mother will survive and will find out that she is just fine with you 2.5 hours away.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • We are going through this with my mother. We are about an hour from her now and she's freaking out because we are moving across country next year. But I have gotten a really good offer to get into a really good graduate program and we are going because this is a very good opportunity for my family. I am not going to live my life based on her choice of real estate. Other parents cope with their kids/grandkids moving away. We'll stay in close touch and visit, and if it is that important to live within a 1 hr drive from us, she's going to have to move with us because there are no opportunities like this for us here. My discussions with her about it have been a lot more diplomatic and compassionate, but that's what it comes down to.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:52 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I would move it was a better opportunity for you and your family. I wouldn't try to please your mother if she barely spends time with you guys now. I would have to say do whats best for your family and you..

    Answer by shelle21 at 11:53 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.