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How can i get my family to show me some appreciation?

My family thinks that cleaning the house on occassion is fine. but never do i get a thank you or " we so appreciate you" I work 13 hours aday at my job and come home and cook and clean. and i work the weekends too , i take care of 4 people by myself. I cry ever single nite, and i cant remember the last time i had a true smile or happy moment. I am constantly thinking !! How do i get food in the house, what bill is due next,, so on and so on!! Mothers day i got nothing!! my bday...nothing. but i work hard to get everyone everything they need!! what do i do. i am so depressed i now see a therapist and take pills!!! Please someone help me ... im on my last moment and the rest is not looking so great for me!!! please someone help me

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CHEEKIEMAMA

Asked by CHEEKIEMAMA at 11:56 AM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • TIME TO GO ON STRIKE SISTER!!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:59 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I have to say, welcome to my world. I really hate that expression, but cheekie, you just described MY LIFE....LOL It makes me feel less alone in it all I will tell you that! I get by, I think, with faith, hope, and thank God, my dad's sense of humor, and my mom's strength. I don't have either of them anymore, but I do, on a daily basis, trust in what they taught me and I get through. Good luck mama and hang in there!!!!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:59 AM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I myself never expect a thank you from my family, I do it out of the goodness of my heart, although I know it is a plus to get appreciated, it doesn't necessarily require a gift. You seem to be under a lot of stress and would benefit from some ME time, pills are not always the answer, try to get your family involved with your feelings, speak out, delegate, do anything you have to do to ease your life a bit.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I know this is hard, but you HAVE TO THINK POSITIVE. I have been there. Seriously. I know what your going through. But you're going to tear yourself apart wondering when the appreciation will come from others instead of being happy and thinking what an amazing woman you are and what you're accomplishing! Keep seeing a therapist.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • At their age they should be helping out around the house.. Give a chore chart, if it is not done take what they love away.. TV, phone, computer, money, time with friends etc.. They have no reason to step up if you are willing to do it.. If it is their clothes and they have nothing clean "oh well" teach them to put them where they belong or wash them themselves...Love the strike idea..
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 12:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • There has got to be more to this. We do everyday chores because they need to be done. we don't get a gold star for it, it just has to be done. It's part of having a family. BUT, when all we do is clean up mess after mess because no one has to clean up, lines need to be drawn! If they create a mess, no one does anything until it's handled. If they muddied up you clean floor, no playing with friends until they mop it up! Start setting more boundaries. Everyone is walking on you.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Do not depend on pills. Take time off at least on Sundays, go out with a friend and breath fresh air. We create this being taken for granted and unappreciative by commencing and continuing to do everything in the house. Get everyone to share in the chores. Go for walks and count ALL your blessings, ability to see the beauty around you, the use of hands and legs and providing for your family and looking after them. Be strong, but NOT with PILLS!
    cafenatesha

    Answer by cafenatesha at 12:48 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Cheekie, the harsh fact is no one ever appreciates what they have and our kids truly don't appreicate us till they're adults. You can't control what they do, only what YOU do..

    STOP DOING FOR THEM.

    Seriously.

    Your girls are far old enough to do their own laundry. Let them do it. Your husband, the same.

    You'll hear a lot of moaning and complaining... be unmoved by it. Making them do for themselves does NOT make you a bad mom or neglectful... it makes you a responsible parent because in two years, your oldest is out on her own. If she doesn't know how to do things for herself, she'll be in sad shape.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • By the way... YOU ARE AMAZING. You should know that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I know the feeling. Guilt works for me :) I'm joking, but it's somewhat serious. I told my children this morning that they are capable of doing a myriad of the tasks they ask me to do for them. I told them I would not be doing anything for them that they are capable of doing themselves. I do everything for the family, granted they will help when I repeatedly ask, but I will not be doing things they can do for themselves anymore. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, and they need to learn to be responsible for their things and learn how to take responsibility for themselves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

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