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2 Bumps

Bad family fight

im a mother of 4 girls and find out at 14 weeks i was bout to have a baby the babydad is mad cause i want to give the baby to a family that can't have kids. i want the baby and all but i just think it would be better for the baby to be with a family that can care and take care of him the way he need to be. am i wrong for feeling this way

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (23)
  • nope and I am proud of you for thinking of another family instead of abortion.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I think you are wrong, because you have four kids and are taking care of them just fine, right? Why are you doubting yourself? You said it would be better for a baby to be with a family that can care and take care of him better. Why do you think you can't?
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • No I completely understand
    mablesamuel

    Answer by mablesamuel at 2:36 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You're not wrong, but both parents need to come to an agreement.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:39 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Thanks for the down vote. I said I think she's wrong b/c she's doubting herself, what's wrong with saying that. That's more of a compliment, like hey you CAN do it.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:39 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I firmly believe that "feelings" are not right or wrong. You cannot tell a person that the way they feel is wrong. I would take some good reflection time to figure out why you think you could not handle another child. You do not want to make a decision you will regret. You would have older siblings to help with responsibilities if you teach them how and your baby can use all the hand me downs. The government provides all sorts of help for formula and doctor care. You can make it work. There is always a solution.
    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 2:41 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • i don't think i could cause my 9 yr old is a bad case of adhd and odd that sometime i feel myself going crazy behind it (yes i had he look at, talk to, small class size. did everything i can) and i just feel like i would be taking from the others. i put more time in m 9 year old then my 1 year old. i just feel like i have to much now and i don't want to take from the others or don't want no e t feel like i don't love them the same.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • First, I am so thankful you are not considering abortion! Second, I think you are very smart to consider the affects another child will have on your family, and with your older child having special needs, thst requires a lot of your time, you don't want to take away from her, and you are a wonderful Mom to be thinking of the best interest of your children you already have and the best interest of your child you are carrying.

    Perhaps you can consider open adoption, so you and your childrens can have a relationship with the child still, and perhaps the father would be more open to the idea of adoption if he too could have a relationship with the child? Yes, itu is true that open adoption in most if not all states are not legally inforced, but there are families that truly do want an open adoption.
    TiffyTaffy79

    Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 3:22 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • We have a semi-open adoption with our childs biological family, but our child is special needs and lived in a hospital for the first 4 years of childs life until coming home to us, biological family lived 30 min away from child and had very little contact for the 4 years child was there, and has very little interest in the child still, sad.. . We originally tried infant adoption, with plans of an open adoption, but it turned out to be a scam, we hope to adopt an infant in the near future, we are waiting to see what God has planned!
    TiffyTaffy79

    Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 3:27 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • well I could not do an abortion if I want to cause I'm 9 months and need to start looking for a family soon.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

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