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Shocked, Stunned and heartbroken..

My cousin (who has had a history of problems but this is still shocking) got arrested yesterday for dealing meth and having materials to make meth. He has used drugs in the past, he has a 7 yr old boy that he has custody of. The boys mother didnt clean up and my cousin did. He has been a very patient and attentive father from what I have seen. We all thought he had cleaned up his act. We had no idea he had begun manufacturing and selling (apparently he isn't using and hasnt for a long time). My aunt adopted my cousin as an infant and he has struggled some, but he comes from a great family. They are heartbroken and have no idea what will happen to their grandson. My aunt is 66 and her husband is 71..I can't believe he has left his child's future so uncertain! Anyway I just had to get this out. I've never seen a family member face plastered on the news as a criminal before..thank God but I just don't know what to think! How could he do this!?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • That's tragic. It's unfortunate for everyone involved. Hard to say what goes thru people's minds when they act in a way that could be (and obviously became) harmful to their children. Prayers for that little boy and his family, including you!

    Answer by Mom22Gurls82 at 4:35 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • It's very hard when a family member is arrested, especially when the family isn't like that to begin with. I have wanted to start a support group because it seems like the family is also judged by that one person and their actions and treated as if they are criminals too. It's also very hard to go through when you don't know the process. If this is his first offense he might just be looking at some probation. In the meantime they will probably try and find relatives to take boy if your aunt cannot continue to care for him. And just because she is 66 doesn't mean anything. There are people that live to 100 and by then he will be an adult.

    Answer by attap5 at 4:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • The grandparents very likely will be given custody of their grandson.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:41 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • No one knows he is my cousin..he lives about 40 mins from here and has a differet last name but it is shameful/weird to be related to someone who has committed a crime this big. When I saw the mug shot on TV it was so weird to recognize the face where usually I would have just been like Ewww. No one would ever suspect someone like this being from our family. I guess it would be even harder if it were a sibling but I don't feel impacted socially by this at this time but i do think if it were going on right in my town it would be really hard to be out in public due to stares and judgements. It reinforces not to judge a family based on one persons actions. Right now I am just heartbroken for my aunt and uncle. my uncle just ran for political office a few months ago, this is tough for them from every angle.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:56 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • i hate to say it but, if he wasnt using, it could be likely that the money he was getting, and meth sells for a good amount, was going to taking care of his son. some people are extremly embarrased to ask for help when it comes to providing for thier kids but will do anything they can to make sure they are provided for by any means possible.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 6:50 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • How could he do this? Good Q. He might possibly still be addicted. To meth or something else that he is buying with the $$ he makes from the meth. Can a relative take custody of the child--he should be of the first concern.
    Hopefully your cousin will get the help he needs.
    You sound very embarrassed by his actions, but needn't be. He needs help. And so does his son right now.
    Every single person we see "on the news" is someone's son, someone's brother, someone's father or uncle.... Kind of gives ya a more compassionate perspective, huh?
    Good luck

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 10:52 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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