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3 Bumps

Over reaction?

Ok so I am currently 25 years old living in my parents house with my 13 month old son who is currently repeating words or doing his best to do so. Today i ask my father if he could stop using certain language around my son because he's starting to repeat it and he totally blew up sayin it's his house and he can speak however he wants basically being ignorant about it.then went off to say that he's only one and doesn't understand newways but this word is constantly comin out of my fathers mouth like 10 times a day. so serious then goes on to say if i don't like his language then I need to pack up me and my son and leave that I could be staying at a shelter that I'm biting the hand that feeds me when I just would perfer he not use that language around my son. I wasn't telling him not to speak like that around just not around my son and now he says not to bring my son around him then for babysitting (which I was in agreement) to him sayin that my son not having his grandfather around won't hurt him but it will hurt me and my son...Now in this scenerio am I right to say he over reacted... Now my SO wants me to apologize so dad feels better and there won't be bad vibes in the house I feel I deserve an apology for him over reacting. Sorry on the old iPod touch screen

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (17)
  • AHHH!...use periods, please!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:12 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • dullscissors took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn't help but think punctuation is your friend. If I got the information right, but it was a hard read, your dad could watch his mouth a little bit. However, it is his house and I would be surprised if you were never exposed to this word. You do have a choice. Your choice is to stay or go.
    vntNyll

    Answer by vntNyll at 7:15 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • you're in his house, you can't tell him how to behave in his own house. he knows your preference, and chooses to ignore it. your best bet is to reaffirm what you want to teach to your child..to your child. when he repeats a word you don't like, you tell him repeatedly, that it isn't a word to use. once he's old enough, you can tell him why. (at 13mos, he's not likely to understand why.)
    i don't know that an apology is in order for YOU..perhaps a general non-heated discussion between you and the 'hand that feeds you' is in order.
    or, you could pack your crap and find another place to live. does the SO have space for you?
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:15 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I agree with you. It is your dads home, but it's also your child's and he needs to be a responsible adult and not use inappropriate language around the child. Your not being unreasonable and he owes his grandchild an apology.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 7:16 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Sometimes you just gotta suck it up. In a perfect world your dad would do his best to watch his mouth around the little guy- life is not perfect.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:32 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Well, I don't care if it's your dad's house. I think it's COMMON COURTESY to behave/speak a certain way in front of children. That's his grandchild for God's sake. He must resentful that you're living there. Maybe you should try to get your own place...you'd be much happier.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 7:36 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You should listen to your SO and it would be an even better idea if you moved in with him or got your own place. You have absolutely no right to expect your grown father to watch his mouth in his own home, not to mention it's most likely costing him plenty financially for you and your son to live there too. If I was guessing, I'd bet he already feels you are ungrateful for the fact he's providing shelter for his adult daughter and grandson and then "over reacted" when you then had the nerve to tell him what he can and can't say in his own house. Language or not, it is you that owes him an apology and certainly not the other way around. If you feel that strongly about your son not hearing vulgar language than you should immediately find a new place to live.
    PTmomma3

    Answer by PTmomma3 at 8:25 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Well where I stand his way was always right regardless my words didn't matter.now as an adult I'm a little tired! my opinion matters and it does count he never apologizes when wrong and I for one am not gong to apologize for something I know in my heart I wasn't at fault regardless of what I heard as a child has nothing to do with how I want to raise my child. I didn't beg my parents to live here and to be honest I was extremely happy when I moved out The first time but the living situation that I was ok with wouldn't be fit for my child so I made a move at the advice of my mother and now I can't give a simple suggestion? On another note I'm moving into my own place in July so I made the suggestion just so he knew where I was coming from abd if my son was to visit he would watch his words now I sit here and every chance he gets he's saying the perticular word that I asked not be said out of spite. R apologees in order?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • OP some of these responses are ridicules, funny how if your having trouble with your kid(s) there quick to judge and put your parenting skills down, they would tell you as the parent how horrible you are for using bad language in front of your child. Now they want to tell you that you have absolutely no right to expect your father to watch his mouth in his own home. He is using foul language in front of you (his child) and his grand child!!! He is 100% at fault! I suggest you move out as soon as you get a chance your a young mom trying to raise your child right trying to instill values and manners and appropriate language.

    If you were getting drunk, using drugs, sleeping with different men or using foul language in front of your child you would be bashed and stoned on Cafemom by all the perfect mothers on here, but it's okay for grandpa, wow!
    Angeleyez08

    Answer by Angeleyez08 at 10:20 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • well I hate to say this and I'm probably going to get voted down too. you are living in his house after all so you really can't "tell" him what to do. he was harsh in his response, but there's nothing you can really do about it. we can't pick our family. sorry he's being so mean.
    mmsfirstone

    Answer by mmsfirstone at 11:04 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

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