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is it wrong that my fam hates my bf and not my cousin who molested me many times?

my fam Hates my bf cause one day he had said a secret i had told him about what had happend to me as a child he knows my cousins they were friends growing up they all meet at a bar drinking involved one night my bf wasnt talking to my cousin cause of my secret cause he couldnt forgive what he done to me my other cousin his sister is like a very manipulative person kept going up to my bf and yelling in his face to forgive him what did her brother do to me and more my bf got mad and said lets just say who the f*** touches lil girls next thing you know i get a call from my cousin (girl) saying what is this whole thing about your bf saying is it true next thing you know she calls my mom everyone in my fam. so now they HATE my bf including my bros and sisters which in the first place was very close to each other once they hung out with my cousin(girl) they started hating him more yet they forgive my cousin who molested me many time

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faithlove19

Asked by faithlove19 at 7:21 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I do not know what it is about families but its ok for there to be a child molester in the fam but god for bid anyone get out of line an say the wrong thing to a fam member, it has happened in my family and my DH's, and its freakin rediculous, and i have even called them on it and they say what are we just suppose to kick him out cuz of what he did, well they wont do that b/c he is married to their sister and they dont want to hurt her feelings, OMG i could kill them, and well in my family it was just swept under the rug like it was nothing!!
    toniao76

    Answer by toniao76 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • My cousin did the same to me, my family the ones who knew about it let it go. It was very hurtful for me. I do not associate wtih them alot, unless I absolutely have to. Which is not often at all if ever. You need to make a happy life with your bf, sounds like he is the "cool kid" who no one wants to piss off. SCREW HIM. This shit is so ridiculous. Move on withot your family, if you feel your relationship with bf is strong enough. He seems to want the best for you. My ex was the same way and said I will never be around him without poppin him, and guess what they started to play bball all the time together. Hence the Ex part of that. My DH refuses to talk to him, if he sees him he will say hi and that is about it, and bye. He is throoughly discusted and that part of the family. Good Luck hon
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 8:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • Did you keep it secret? I'm getting the vibe that your family thinks your lying... not so sure though. BTW your family will always be your family so keep that in mind :(. That really upsets me that they will take their families side over your side!! I wish I could give you advice but the only thing I can think of relating to your situation is that I have seriously been in some bad family arguments and honestly things are never the same, so you stick to your guns and do what you feel is right!!!
    Alicia10-2-08

    Answer by Alicia10-2-08 at 11:36 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • thanks for the advice. its really hurtful i feel like if its my fault. i don't speak to my cousin (girl) anymore nor the one who did that to me. they see me like if im the bad person. and my cousin(girl) always found ways to ruin my past relationships also. she would try her best to dig up what she can and have everyone in my family turn against my bf or my exs. i realized this year how she was and just stoped talking to her and shes 26 and im 20 she graduated from UCI and USC in social worker so get that she knows how to get in peoples head. and yes it was a secret ya family is family but its doesn't hurt to lose a few all i really need is my mom and dad not my cousins.
    faithlove19

    Comment by faithlove19 (original poster) at 2:47 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • well now you know how your family feels about you being molested, its obviously not an issue to be talked about or dealt with. if that is the way they feel then you shouldn't be dealing with people like that. what your cousin did to you was awful and horrible and they should be on your side not the cousins.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 11:19 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

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