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2 Bumps

Would this upset you (vent)

if SO or boyfriend not husband called you names?  i got upset about a comment he said about a friend of ours so he called me insecure. SO said "i realized katherine's a silverfish when i was hiking with her, but i have you." first of all she's a WHAT!? (a fish, as in something you CATCH?)  second, he went hiking with her without telling me while i was out of town!? katherine and i are new friends and she called me to come rescue him. he almost had a heat stroke. he was in trouble and i had to drive an hour to get him.

wouldn't any girl would feel this way for what he says, such as "she's just so great?" and "she's just like you when i first met you". it seems he does this on purpose to see the worst of me come out. i am civil, concerned but hurt and confused. 

i took it as, he think she's such a great catch. why would i want to know that? i tell him keep those thougts to yourself! why would a FIANCE say that...or even think if for that matter. yes, he proposed to me a year and a half ago, been together 4 years.

i don't doubt his love, but feel unsafe, scared. he's cheated on previos girlfriends and this is why im so unsure!

supposedly silverfish means "just another girl" when i asked him. but if he meant she was "just another girl" it wouldn't come out like it did, it wouldn't be substantial enough for him to even make a comment about it. all 3 of us are friends, i like her she's cool..but why emphasize his liking to her so often and so much. it makes me sad. im a bad ass chic, im ahead in life. he's living with ME and he knows he has it good. 
unfortuntately tho we are rocky so stuff like this happens sometimes. last night i went out with a friend and for once i was seriously on the verge of a break up. not sure of this guy all the sudden because of this one comment. we've been together 4 years, but im lacking hope because i don't expect him to change one bit. 

"just because you love someone doesn't mean they're right for you!" im on the fence! not sure what moves to make. suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by lizzybee44 at 10:18 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,681 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well SO & I do this he calls me a cunt I call him an asshole & so on! We usedn to do it jokingly then I had the baby & I was different afterwards. I didnt like the name calling but he remained the same. After three years of me being different & him the same he finally figured out that the name calling thing wasnt something I took lightly anymore. I dont know why but I dont I am a much more serious person as a mom *shrugs shoulders* I'll knock back out of it some day like when she is done with college lol

    Answer by Mel30248 at 10:20 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • no, we don't. I will jokingly call him a pig or asshole but that's it.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:26 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • My ex used to call me names a lot.. Among other things......

    I think you need to think about how the name calling makes you feel, and if he takes your feelings into consideration. And of course how he's calling you names (is it playfully, or mean?)
    My friend and her husband jokingly call each other names, but with them, it's playing, and no one has hurt feelings.
    My ex and I? It hurt my feelings, and he was doing it for the sake of putting me down, didn't care in the least that it made me feel bad

    Answer by MommyCatalina at 10:27 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • it makes me feel unsafe in his arms, but it's the one things he's clueless about, saying stuff that could hurt feelings

    Comment by lizzybee44 (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • yes this would upset me.when my bf calls me names i tell him straight out not too. in other hands i know it can get to a point where it gets annoying . just talk to him more about it. communication is the key. trust it works for me and my bf. we do at times joke around about name calling thou but we don't take it to far

    Answer by faithlove19 at 4:30 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Yes, I would be upset. My husband is not a disrespectful person. Especially to me!
    I would be concerned about him hiking with you new friend!!

    Answer by eluc at 10:35 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

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