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2 Bumps

Would you care if your SO/DH had a platonic friend of the opposite sex he communicated with frequently?

They e-mail each other constantly...have been friends for years and now live in other states. I've read some of the emails, they are totally platonic- they talk about normal things and connect on an artistic level (she's a painter, he's a writer...she helped illustrate for kid's short story)...

For some reason it still irritates me. Like right now, he just asked if I wanted to hang out but then he has to email her real quick first. I've said something before, but he swears up and down they're just friends and reminds me of when we first became monogamous, a long time ago, how he told me he has friends that are girls and I'd need to accept that if we were going to be together.

Would you care or trust him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Jun. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • My Dh has quite a few female friends... Doesn't bother me in the least.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:07 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • it wouldn't bother me. I have complete trust in my DH. sounds like you have trust issues. it would be best to deal with them or your relationship will dissolve.

    Answer by mmsfirstone at 11:08 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I don't think it would bother me. My husband is still friends with his high school sweetheart on Facebook and they all meet up once in a while for coffee.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:09 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • idk.. would really depend on if i was married or there was a long term commitment.. if she wants to know you and he includes you and there's no secrets then really no.. it's when he hides the friendship or aspects of it that bothers me..

    Answer by girlglow6 at 11:13 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • confusedI have trust issues, not just with my husband, with everyone, that would bother me, just saying!


    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 11:14 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • You said yourself that you have seen the emails and that they are completely platonic, so I don't see the issue. My DH has female friends and I have male friends.

    Answer by AF4life at 11:16 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • My husband has a female friend that he talks to occasionally. Maybe a couple times a year. She is married and pregnant. It still somewhat bothers me. I don't know why. Maybe because this girl has been in his life longer than I have. I don't have any male friends besides my brother and he doesn't count. I don't think he would be cool with me having a male friend.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 11:17 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • He has many. Only one of them bothers me, but that is between she and I, not the two of them. 97% of my friends are men, most of whom I have known and been close to for years.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:17 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • my bestfriend is a guy....but he dont think im attractive in that way he prefers men :) and my husband totally doesnt mind! but its ur relationship you know him more than anyone and if he knows that him talking to that lady is upsetting he should do something instead of nothing....

    Answer by raeyliNlilysmom at 11:17 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

  • I would have a problem with it...but thats because of the way my DH and I are with eachother. We've both been very hurt, and both have unfounded insecurities that we shouldnt have toward eachother.
    In your case, I'd say youre overreacting. You said yourself you've done some snooping and have never found anything. And theyve been friends for so long, if something was going to happen, it probably would have already.
    But, I dont think he should have made you wait so he could email her...thats a bit much for me. He could have emailed her later, unless it was something important that couldnt wait.

    Answer by mlmkjw at 11:18 PM on Jun. 29, 2011

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