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3 Bumps

Spanking VS Time Out

I want to know where other moms stand on this one. Im not talking about time when your child takes a cookie with out asking im talking about when they really do something wrong.
Personally i am against time outs and feel that they do not work. I feel that more parents need to go back to spanking their kids when they are bad. I hate that it has come down to being so controversial for fear of child protective services. dont get me wrong im not advocating that parents beat their children, i am suggesting that a swift smack on the bottom would do more justice then putting them in the corner. I have lived by method. I just want some feed back i think that this will be an interesting debate.

 
MonkeyMommyNJ

Asked by MonkeyMommyNJ at 12:31 AM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,934 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I feel that if you spank them while they are still in diapers, you'll never have to spank them when they're out of diapers.
    I remember swatting my son because he kept going after the electrical outlets. I yelled, pulled him away, smacked his hand, and then finally a flop on the butt. Same thing with talking back, or telling me "no".

    He's 16 now and I don't think I've as much as raised my voice to this child in 10 years. He's an honor roll student and an all around good kid. He's street smart too. When some of his friends started hanging with a bad crowd, he just stopped answering their calls. Now I DO have to tell him about the typical teen things- get off the phone and go to bed, don't go over so many texts a month, clean your room... He respects me, and I'm pretty proud of that.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I use the perfect blend of both. When DD starts getting super nasty I start with time out. When she gets out of control I go to the spank
    Irishmommy860

    Answer by Irishmommy860 at 12:33 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I like to have an arsenal of punishment and discipline tactics I use. Not everything is worthy of a spanking, not everything is worthy of time out. It depends entirely on what behavior needs correcting.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:29 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I was a spanker, and felt pretty strongly about it. I do not feel that spanking effectively teaches my children what I want them to learn. Situational discipline works best. Discipline and guidance tailored to the behavior or action at hand works much better. Does it sometimes take longer? Yes. But spanking is a short term solution that does not always change the root cause of the behavior. All of our actions start with a thought or emotion, then proceeds to action, then outcome. If you want to change the behavior (action) you have to help guild the thought or emotion, and teach your child to take control of their own impulses. The more I look at it in those terms, the less I see spanking as a reasonable option. There are more constructive ways to teach your children, yes, even young ones.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:56 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I was spanked as a child,as were my 3 younger sibblings. It taught us to hit each other when we were mad as well as hit our mom,we started to hit her when we were spanked. In the long run it destroyed the mom/child relationship,mom has 4 kids,6 grandkids and 4 great grandkids that she does not know or see. When one adult hits another adult it is assult and /or domestic violence. We teach our kids dont hit,hands are for loving but parents will use those loving hands to hit their child??? My DH was also spanked and he said he weighed the options (go outside w/out asking,get spanked) spanking stings but "playtime" was worth it. We both hold resentment and anger towards our parents.
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 1:53 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You can always tell the kids that get spankd from the time out kids...Anywhere...I spank not beat.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 2:21 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I've said this before and I still stand by it. "Different stroke for different folks." What works for one child does not necessarily work for another. You use the method that works for each individual child. Time outs are preferred nowadays, but you have to be persistent and consistent. Many parents give up too quickly. It is not cruel to reprimand nor punish a child. Done in the right way it teaches him/her there are consequences to bad behavior. Spanking does not teach them that hitting is acceptable either. I have four grown children. I spanked a couple and I punished the other two. They are all unique in their own ways and turned out to be fine adults. I really didn't have fighting issues with any of them. I taught them to be respectful and never to start a fight. However, at the same time, if someone had hit them, they were told to defend themselves. This generation tries too hard "to go by the book."
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:17 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I don't think discipline is a black/white issue. There are situations that warrant a spanking, there are situations that warrant time-outs or punishment. Not every method works with every child. I can spank ds (9) until the cows come home and it would not change one thing, he doesn't care. I can take his video games and he's quick to apologize and change his behavior. I can threaten to spank dd (9) and the behavior stops immediately. Noone can say that no parent should ever spank, and no parent can say that time-outs never work. Children are different and need different discipline. I do agree, however, that spankings are not abusive if administered correctly and not out of anger.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:30 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I spanked my son, he's now 7 and I can't remember the last time I had to spank him because he's a respectful, well behaved child. I agree with mekarevell you can tell the kids who are disciplined apart from the ones who aren't. I have a friend who uses time outs and tries to talk and reason with her child and she wonders why she can't control her kid.
    onemellowmom

    Answer by onemellowmom at 3:01 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I feel that time out ids more effective then spanking. I will admit that I have spanked my child three times in his 6 years of life. One was when he tried to choke his little brother; another when he tried to shove his baby brother down the stairs and the last when he walked over and stomped on his 8 day old baby sister. but I realized I was WRONG. There was a reason why my son was acting this way; he was jealous of his little brother and sister because my husband pushed him away when they were born (he is not his biological son).
    I talked to my son and he thought his siblings went bye bye then Daddy would love him again. That broke my heart and is a big reason why my husband I and I are no longer together. I don't see the need to spank; my son has done nothing extreme to deserve it. A simply time out and losing privileges works just fine.
    Mom_Of_3_Angelz

    Answer by Mom_Of_3_Angelz at 3:04 AM on Jun. 30, 2011