Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

should I apologies to a friend for pointing out her kids bad behavior?

I have a friend who hasn't specified weather she is angry with me or not but I get the hint with the unanswered txt and phone calls.
Anyway she has a daughter around my daughters age and she is a terror! screams temper tantrums, and god forbid she doesn't get things her way!! Well my child really enjoys being around her when shes not screaming her head off and demanding things from her (my kid is really easy going) but the other day my child flat out refused to go for a visit, shes never been this way with any other friend before. well I told this friend and she tried to make it seem like it was not just her daughter oh no it has to be my kid too!! cause her daughters and angel (mind you I have seen this child hit her mom before and she constantly screams at her)she's always saying tell her the truth so she can correct it and when I did she snubbed me.I have a to each his own mentality with parenting unless affects my kid.

Answer Question

Asked by cherrybumbum at 5:19 AM on Jun. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No Way...don't apologize. If she is your real friend, she'll get over it & come around, just give her time. Most parents only see the good in there kids, of course it probably did not feel good to her to hear her child was in the wrong. That hurts her ego. But, you did good. She should know exactly why your child does not want to play with hers.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:04 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • TO JKQMOM the child is 7 mine is 6, and there is no disabilities, and don't I "step on anyones toes" so to speak i believe people should raise there kids the way they see fit, it was just a situation where my child was affected and I wanted to rectify it before it got out of hand to JSD24 she made it very clear that she wants people to tell her when her kids are acting up or getting out of hand because she want to take care of it there and then well I told her and now I am blacklisted lol damn if you do damn if you don't I guess......

    Comment by cherrybumbum (original poster) at 7:39 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Sounds like your friend has told you she wants to know when things are wrong and when she was told it was a different story. lol You know that old saying 'be careful what you ask for' lol Also, Dr. Phil says "They will get happy in the same chair they get mad in" Guess his Dad had said that one. I don't think you owe her an apology, but maybe you can talk to her about what she said to you about 'wanting to know stuff' and then let her know you have noticed she isn't answering your txts, calls, etc. Good luck!

    Answer by cat4458 at 7:21 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Bad behavior comes from two areas. (1) Poor parenting, where a child isn't taught to be respectful, kind and courteous. (2) A child who is wired differently, developmentally delayed or has a special need. If the behavior is due to (1), I can see where you're stepping on your friend's toes. If it comes from (2), your friend could be in denial.

    The other thing to realize is that some mistakes will be made - even by kids who are well parented and not disabled. You don't say how old these kids are. If they are under 3, this behavior is somewhat developmentally appropriate.


    Answer by JSD24 at 7:05 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I say no. You shouldn't have to apologize. Would you apologize if your child vomited on the way to the xar for the playdate? No you'd reschedule. Ask to rescheduled for a time when the child has slept well, matbw nit with mom so there is less drama....whatever us needed to give your child the best playmate and play time. You are your child's advocate. You gave to do what you can.

    Answer by JKQMom at 5:54 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • thank you so much! I have been losing sleep on this I am really not the type to tell someone how to parent, to each his own I always say but its starting to affect my child and that's not okay with me.
    I caught myself feeling really bad for her child because she has no friends then I slowly realized why.
    Thanks I feel 100 times better!!

    Comment by cherrybumbum (original poster) at 5:53 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • hearing that someone else thinks your child is a terror and needs an attitude adjustment QUICKLY doesn't feel good or sound good, BUT IT IS NEEDED! you did the right thing in telling her the truth because one day, if your friend doesn't get a handle on her child's behavior, someone else will! pray for her and her daughter! and in the mean time, you may want to back off a little, just to give her time to think about what you said. i mean, if someone told me that, i'd need a little time to get over being pissed but then to evaluate the situation for what it trully is and then deal accordingly.

    rock on! you did right! you're trying to help and you are awesome for doing so!

    Answer by HappyHmsklNapps at 5:50 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.