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Woman in need....am I wrong to ask for $?

My gf is pregnant with her 3rd kid (an OOPS, according to her). She is a SAHM and her husband just got laid off for the 3rd time in a year. She asks me if I still have my first born's infant car seat, and I say yeah, and she asked if she can have it. Now, in any normal circumstance, I would give it to her knowing her situation, however, I have it up on craigslist trying to sell for $40 (plus $40 for the stroller too) and $80 value on something that was $279! Anyway, I did tell her I had it and said I was asking $40 for it on craigslist - and she said nevermind (I guess she got offended). We are a struggling family right now with 2 babies under the age of 2, I need all the money I can get! I can't afford to be just giving away something expensive like that! Am I wrong to ask for some money? I can most likely easily sell it to somone who will give me the $ that I'm asking, but because she's my friend, she got offended that I asked for $ I guess? How would you react?

Like I said, if I was fine financially, I would have definitely given it to her, no doubt about it. But I can't afford groceries half the time so yeah that $ would really help me out! We spent $279 on it 2 years ago (back when we had money, prior to kids lol!)

Any thoughts appreciated...

Answer Question
 
SweetPieMama24

Asked by SweetPieMama24 at 10:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,066 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • It's good to help friends, but I think you have to take care of your family first. A friend would understand that.
    Ludvik_Smith

    Answer by Ludvik_Smith at 10:04 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • With her being in money trouble..she should understand how it is! I don't think you were wrong for asking for money.. You gotta do what you gotta do.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:04 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • No, it's not wrong of you to ask to be paid. If you are expecting to sell it, then keep it up on craigslist. I have a friend who recently asked me for my changing table, I told her I was putting it on craigslist and got the same reaction you got from your friend. I told her I would "sacrifice" it to her for $25, when I've seen similar ones sell on craigslist for $40, but she didn't want to pay anything. It's nice to be able to give things away, but if you need the money, there's nothing saying you need to sacrifice your family for hers! Did you tell her there may be some similar things on freecycle.org? That's what I told my friend.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:06 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You have to take care of your family too. That said, I'd be surprised if you get money for the car seat. In some states it's illegal to sell used car seats and most people would rather buy new, even in hard times, than buy a used one when there is no guarantee it was never in an accident. Not bashing, just thought I'd point that out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would offer to see it as well. It's cheaper than anything she would find but the fact that you didn't offer it for free should have said something to her for assuming. You did the right thing by not caving and just giving it to her, she has 2 other children and i am sure she understands
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:07 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I do not think you are wrong. Family First!!....If this is her 3rd kid, where is her stuff?
    eluc

    Answer by eluc at 10:09 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • They got rid of all their stuff thinking they were done! I thought they were done too, she has had two miscarriages since the birth of her last kid 3 years ago.

    I bought my son's current convertible car seat at a garage sale for $15. I know it's not really good to buy a used car seat, but when you're strapped for cash, I couldnt shell out $200 something for one especially when we needed two!
    SweetPieMama24

    Comment by SweetPieMama24 (original poster) at 10:10 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • !!!!Just ignorance ,some people don't appreciates good friend like you!!!@
    yilvenia69

    Answer by yilvenia69 at 10:33 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Well since money is tight for her too, she should understand where you are coming from, and she really should not expect you to just give her your baby things for free! You paid money for them, and you need to support your family too and really are not in a position to just give the things away... when you could get a few $ for them. If I were the friend I would not expect you to give me the items for free, I would offer to pay you. The only thing I might do if I did not have much $ is ask if I could pay you a little at a time in monthly installments.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:43 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • No I don't think she should be offended. Personally I feel she should be grateful for REALLY good deal. I understand her situation as much as yours. But a real friend would understand that you need the money also. For myself I didn't want anymore kids. So when I found out I was pregnant my fiance had just got laid off too. Then imagaine my surprise when I found out we were having twins. I don't work because I have a disabled little boy that requires me to stay home with him. So we were really hard up for money. So I checked with services like Healthy start program and they gave us a carseats for free. They weren't the ones we would have liked but they were free. May I suggest that you help her look for programs that will help provide her with some free stuff. I know that the Healthy start in our area will charge you $10 for a new one and $10 for a playpen. There are really great programs, she just needs to look for them.
    ChacesMom

    Answer by ChacesMom at 2:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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