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Should I let him?!

I have a 5 year old boy with a man that never ever comes around my son wouldn't even recognize him. I now have another little boy one month old with a man that has pretty much been daddy to my first son for the past four years. They love each other very very much. You wouldn't even know that weren't "real" father and son. My little boy started calling him daddy a few years ago we never told him to and the first time he did I asked him why he called him that he said bc he is my daddy. It brought tears to my eyes. He's taught him to play baseball football hunt everything a daddy does. Now he is wanting to adopt him. Im wondering if I should wait a little while til he gets older and ask him if he wants my DH to adopt him. I don't know what to do. He is a GREAT daddy. and loves my son very much.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I say let him adopt him. If your son started calling him daddy on his own and even told you he was his daddy, that makes it pretty clear that he considers him his daddy. It's great that this man was willing to step up and do what the boy's bio father wasn't willing to do. Give him that honor of really being his daddy.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:13 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I would/ am. my DH is the only dad my kids have known. and he wants to adopt them! i am going to let him

    Answer by lonelymommyof2 at 10:12 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • If your husband wants to adopt him, I would let him.

    Answer by 2protectivemom at 10:15 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Is this new man your husband. If so then I would say yes. If he's just your SO then I would wait to make sure things work out. You wouldn't want him to end up losing another daddy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Oops, I see now that you wrote that this is your DH so I say yes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • If it was me, before asking anyone anything I would find out the legal end. Unless bio-dad has already legally given up his rights no one can adopt your son. I dont know if I would approach my son with this until I knew what was happening legally. Would contacting bio-dad lead to more trouble for your son? Contact a lawyer, do some snooping and find out if you dont already know where and what the bio dad is doing with his life.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:26 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yes he is my husband lol we've been married a year now. I've decided to let him. I know me and my DH will be together forever. Something in the back of my head was just telling me to let my son make the decision I don't want him to lose another father but I see now that wether or not he adopts him if something were to happen he'd lose a father anyways. With the way he acts with my Dh I know he sees him as his daddy adn always will. When I tell my DH I know he's just going to break down he loves him like his own. I was so lucky to find him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I think mistynights is right on with her advice.

    Answer by Marci81 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • His bio dad still lives in town we've actually passed a few times at walmart and my son never knew and his bio dad barley looked. I contacted him as soon as my DH asked me if he could and he said he would sign anything as long as he wuldn't have to pay anything which he hasn't for the past 5 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I'm glad you made that decision. A friend of mine was in the same situation, her son's Bfather had nothing to do with him, and she started dating her DH when her son was just a baby. After they got married, he adopted the little boy (he was about 5 when that happened). The little boy has always known his dad as 'his daddy', and it would make him feel so bad if he didn't have the same last name and wasn't legally his son. He IS the daddy, and even if they got divorced, he would still provide for him just like he would for the other two kids that are his bio-kids. I hope your DH is thrilled that he will soon be his legal daddy! Congrats to you!!

    Answer by LizClara at 10:42 AM on Dec. 15, 2008