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Omg WHAT DO i DO?

My 23 yo step-daughter lives with me and also her 2 yo son, she does not work but does get child support from the real father who is in the military until Sept. Her present bf does not work, I try my best to get along with him but he is lazy and wants to marry my daughter but will NEVER support her and her son. I am supporting them now, well she just called and told me she thinks she is pregnant!!!! What the hell, I know she knows what causes this neither one have a job and can not afford the one she has now. She was suppose to come stay 3 months until he got on with the fire department but that was 9 months ago and he still has done nothing. I don't think the job will ever come through due to the fact he can not stay away from pot. She has no where to go, her father and I have divorced and he lives in Texas. I can not afford to support anyone else, I also have a 18 yo of my own that lives with me. I want my house back, the bf stays continuously but is not allowed to sleep over, they have worn their welcome out at his mothers house, what do I do???? I am in no way trying to sound like a bitch just need some advice, she is an adult and I just told them both last week that I can not afford this much longer they were going to have to get a place of their own.............

 
buttonlts

Asked by buttonlts at 11:26 AM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 21 (11,115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I feel for you Mom. I have an adult step-daughter and her son is my only grandchild. When she is mad she is willing to freeze me out as well. You're in a tough situation. There is no win for you, you kick her out she kicks you out of her life. You don't kick her out and you are stuck with another baby on the way. I hope you know this is a very difficult situation and deserves serious consideration. If it were me, I'd probably move myself. I'm a baby that way - hate a conflict.
    Keef99

    Answer by Keef99 at 2:48 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • They are adults.. Just talk to her and say she has a certain time frame in which to get out.. Give her enough time to get things straight (& I'm ONLY saying give her time because she has a little one).. Good Luck!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:28 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Tell her that you cannot support them any longer. Give them a month to find other arrangements or go live with her father.
    Make sure that you follow thru.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You really need a good sit down with her, give her a time limit and go from there.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would say tell her IF she is pregnant, she needs to find somewhere within 2 months and be out, or go move with her dad. You are done and that IF she is pregnant her BF needs to stay away until he can help support them- she can go elsewhere to have thier "visits"
    it is your house and you have a child there and she don't need to be exposed to this mess on a daily basis, nor should you. And the g-baby, she will eventually come around and let you see him if that happens again.
    2teens2LOs

    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 12:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I made her leave one other time we had a fight it was her way or no way.............she told me she was 21 she could do what she wanted, well when I told her to leave she would not let me see my grandson for almost 7 months, but the time I spend with him now is so stressful, when someone else is home she does not watch him she leaves that to others, its so starting to piss me off, I in no way would kick her to the streets but there has got to be some happy medium here
    buttonlts

    Comment by buttonlts (original poster) at 11:44 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Call her dad. Tell her youre done. He needs to come get her.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:49 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Her father does nothing..........thats why we are divorced, he has never done anything he is 50 and still lives with his mother drives her car and works part time.......................
    buttonlts

    Comment by buttonlts (original poster) at 11:58 AM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • 2teens thanks......................sometimes I hate being a parent it is do dam hard, but I can not support anymore it's her turn she is an adult I have supported someone all my life I need to get my own shit together :) I need less stress and with supporting everyone else its overwhelming
    buttonlts

    Comment by buttonlts (original poster) at 12:05 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • If she's 21 I don't feel dad is responsible for her anymore. I don't think you are either. I'm afraid you are enabling her and I'd ask to leave and soon. Tough love is what she needs.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:09 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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