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How do I help my daughter through severe seperation anxiety?

My daughter is 2, and of course shes never been around anyone but me and my husband because no one and not even in laws will watch her. Shes never been to a baby sitter or to a daycare. Im seriously considering putting her in daycare. But she will not go to or with anyone now. She wont let my husband, her father put her to bed, or give her a bath or make her dinner or anything. I have a 4 year old son and hes the opposite he will go with anyone. But the biggest issue i have is when anyone comes around she starts screaming and holding on to me as if someones going to rip her away from me. I am 8 and a half months pregnant and shes gonna have to stay with someone while I have the baby, so I need to figure out how to get her out of it. She has severe seperation anxiety. I cant go to the store and leave her here with my husband without her throwing a fit the whole time I am gone, its not just a fit its a full blown tantrum, she screams and cries and scratches at me to get to me, and scratches her face and her cheeks and her neck up. Its driving me insane. I need to get her out of it. any help would be great.

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Asked by Dspahni at 1:03 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think you just have to DO IT.. Start off leaving to go to the store without you a couple times this week. she will just have to adjust. My son was like this also and he learned Mommy always comes back but he does have anxiety ( diagnosed through ECI ) and it has not been an easy road, warnings about what you are doing and where you are going helped us a lot. good luck

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:07 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You just have to do it, and not make an issue out of it. Your hub needs to step in as well. Go out to coffee or something a few nights a week, so your daughter can get used to the fact that you always come back. My daughter was very clingy, and that's what I had to do. If none of these work, then it's time to see your Peds

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • My daughter has always been more clingy than her older brother. When it got overwhelming for me I'd just detach her from my leg, hand her to dad, give a hug and kiss goodbye and walk out the door. Yes, it KILLED me to leave while she was screaming, but it was the only way to get over it. She's now 4 and still fairly clingy at times, but she's learned that Mom ALWAYS comes back. If I get back after she's gone to bed I still go in and check on her and give her a kiss, telling her Mom's back now.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:31 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • These mommas are right, you just have to do it. Baby steps, well I know you don't have much time since the baby is coming soon! GL and congrats by the way. Does she respond differently whether or not her brother is with her? May just little things like, walk to the mailbox, outside to the car, does she freak out in those situations? You know she's safe with your DH, or whoever she will be with when you go into labor, just make sure she has things with her that are familar to her. Blanky, toys, maybe even get her her own special "big girl" toy if you can to take while she's away. Can you record your voice so she can listen to it while you're in the hospital?

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:32 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Leave as quickly as you can. Don't drag the process out, this phase will pass.

    Answer by H.I.S. at 2:51 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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