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I don't want anyone there.

So, we had a Christmas party last night with family and they all kept saying that we had to call them early enough so they could make it to the hospital for the baby is born.

Well, we psised them off cause we said that we will call them when she's born but we don't want anyone up there but my parents and his. I don't want to deal with a million people when i'm in labor, and I want the after time to be US with the baby. Not everyone else.

I said that after she's been home for a week or so, people can start visiting, and now we're supposedly horrible people.

How would you deal with this?


Asked by oliviasmomma09 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (16)
  • They'll get over it. It's too overwhelming when you just had a baby and have to deal with a ton of people. It just makes things harder. I think it's a good idea to just have the grandparents there.

    Answer by sbastille at 11:19 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • well i honestly dont think there is much else you can do other then just telling them how you feel. if they dont understand that...well sorry! lol. they will get over it. its your have every right to say who you do and dont want to be there.

    i wouldnt worry about it. like i said they will get over it, they really dont have a choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I understand your wish for the intimate privacy. I also understand that having a baby, like getting married changes the dynamics of an entire family. You think it is all about you and your husband and your baby. It isn't Parents will become grandparents, Aunts and Uncles and cousins are involved. I'm not saying you should have a million people at the hospital while you're in labor. I'm just saying be careful not to shut people out. The one who will ultimately suffer is your child.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:22 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Im not shutting anyone out. I want his parents there, and mine. That's it. Plus, only four people are allowed bands at the hospital to get into the room anyway, what's the point of having 2000 people in the waiting room. It's not shutting people out at all, they can see her when she's home.

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Honastly your going to want visitors in the hospital "they have strict hours lol" when you get home you are not going to want people over all the time when you are trying to adjust to a new baby!! I agree nobody but the people you want in the delivery room should be there while you are in labor and if they are they need to stick to the waiting room!!! and you need to have that hour or so after baby is born with just you and the babys dad and baby thats kindof a special time..... I didnt have that with my last 2 because me and my SO lived in different states so I was just kinda on my own and it was the hardest thing in the world wanting someone there that badley!! You two need to do whatever makes it best and the most special to YOU not everyone else!! Good luck!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:25 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • well first off...Its your baby and your choice. And if thats what you want to do, stick with it and they can either except it or not.

    Answer by vickwu at 11:27 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Do what you and your husband are comfortable with. When I was pregnant with our first child my mother in law was upset because she assumed that she would not only be with me during labor but also in the delivery room. As If!!! I flat out told her that who was in the labor room and deliver room is a personal choice and I did not want anyone there besides my husband. Ultimately you are the one that will be in labor and delivering the child and although your husband may have his opinion and others for that matter, I feel that it is the woman who has the final say. Do not worry about hurt feelings or people being upset. You need to do what you are comfortable with. I feel the the first moment you hold your child should be between your husband and you. You do not want to feel rushed because your have a group of people waiting outside your door.

    Answer by maddiemygirl at 11:30 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • They are all just excited to see the baby. It's your call who is there when you are in labor. I always say once you are in labor you will be surprised by how much you don't care what anyone else wants! You might want to think about letting people visit you in the hospital, but again that's a personal thing and it's up to you. They'll get over it. When they do come to visit you a week after the baby is born try to be as warm, open, and welcoming as possible so that they know it wasn't personal and you are grateful for their visit. Good luck and congrats!

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:31 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • stand your ground. both my births were like that. but mainly my hubs fault starting to call ppl when im still passing the placenta lol i had a room full of ppl before i even got to the recovery room (it was my second choice hospital in my first choice you dont have to change rooms) next time my third visitors until I actually say so, and Ill make sure all the nurses know, including my hubs! lol they will get over it they need to respect your decision. your gonna be so tired at that point you need to make sure nurses and your hubs knows your wishes.

    Answer by Shannon85 at 11:43 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Everyone is different.. I loved having everyone there it made it better for me but i understand how you feel because at first i didnt care who was there as long as they werent in the room but by the time i was pushing i had my mom, my MIL, Sister in law, Husband, And my friend all in there while i pushed... So good luck and stick to what you want and what you believe is the best!

    Answer by BallardMomma at 11:49 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

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