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3 Bumps

Did i handle this well? Should i talk to his mom?

I am watching a good friends child today b/c he got in a fight yesterday at the YMCA and he wasnt allowed to go on the field trip they had planned today. He is 7 and my DS1 is 3. They have always been pals but about a year and a half ago i started noticing they kid being a bad influence and so i have insisted that I be around whenever they play. and I dont allow them to be alone together. This kid is EXTREMEly disrespectful to his mother but is terrified of his step father (there is no abuse, he is just stern and the only one who disciplines him) So... today he was sitting on the couch across the room from me and my 3 yr old was next to him. He was reading a book and i heard him whispering "look at this Jojo" so i looked over there and he was holding the book in front of his pants. It looked like he was exposing himself so i got up and took the 4 steps over there. The kid quickly sat up. so i asked what he was doing, he said he was showing my son the picture. I was at a loss. So waited until my sone went to his room to play and asked thekid again what he was doing. He got quiet and then tried to mae something up. I asked him flat out "did you pull down your pants?" he got quiet and avoided eye contact. So i asked him calmly to give me a yes or no. He kind of whined a "yeah" and then said "but i didnt show him anything" I said to him " those parts of your bod are only for you, it is very important that you keep them to yourself, no one else should see them" He nodded and i reiterated my point again. so...
did i handle this right? should i talk to his parents, what do i say? should i have my hubby talk to his dad, or should i talk to his mom? i feel a little sick to my stomach, i wasnt prepared for this today...

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Asked by sarlove01 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,916 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Yes, you should talk to his parents.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:09 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would definitely tell his mom! & honestly I wouldn't want him around my children anymore.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would talk directly to him. People are too worried about hurting other people's feelings. Sounds like this kid needs help, and personally I would feel like I was contributing to the problem if I didn't speak up. She may get upset and not believe you, but at least you did your part.

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I mean to her, I would talk directly to his mother.

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Yes, but I would talk to his step dad. It's quite apparent that the mother lacks discipline skills. It's very normal for a young child to play show and tell, however it needs to be talked about so that they learn that it's not something that should continue.

    Answer by attap5 at 2:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i have a feeling that this kid is doing it out of rebellion. i think he knows it is wrong but like to not follow the rules and gets a kick out of doing bad things...

    Comment by sarlove01 (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Yes you need to tell his parents, but since his step dad does the only disciplining I would sit both parents down together and tell them what happened. That way you know his mom knows what is going on but that he will also be disciplined for what he did.

    Answer by AF4life at 2:15 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Sounds like there might be some sexual abuse going on. Talk to his mom. IMO... there might be something about the stepdad that you don't know.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Absolutely talk to his mother. She needs to know that her child exposed himself. It could be innocent little boy stuff...but at the same time he doesn't need to be showing that to anyone! Just tell her what happened and that you thought she should be aware of it, but don't do it in an accusatory way.

    Answer by KennsWifey at 2:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i doubt very highly that there is abuse. these people are the opposite of secretive if anything. However that is a good point, i will talk to both parents.

    Comment by sarlove01 (original poster) at 2:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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