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2 Bumps

How should I respond to my step-daughter snubbing me at her wedding?

I've been married to her Dad for 20 years, she lived with us through highschool and college, we paid for the wedding, I personally provided the honeymoon (my timeshare in Myrtle Beach), she wore my great-grandmother's ring for her something borrowed. She left me off the program and when my feelings got hurt has now refused to interact with me since before the wedding (2 weeks). She has a son, whom I've babysat at least once weekly since his birth 10 months ago and thought I was his grandmother, I thought we were family, I thought we were close. Now I feel devastated. I've been crying alot. I want this reconciled. I wonder if I should just back out of her life completely, I am very hurt and confused.


Asked by Keef99 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would be hurt, as well. But maybe, she didn't mean to do it>? Some people get really edgy when planning their wedding. & maybe she isn't talking to you now because shes embarrassed for leaving you off.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:41 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would back off and let her come around, you cant make someone love you no matter how giving of yourself you are to her. Then when she comes around let her know how hurt she made you.

    Answer by 2teens2LOs at 2:39 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think you're looking into it too much.
    Let it go.

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think perhaps you shouldn't have made a big deal about your name being left of the programs. Brides have people pulling them in every direction when they are planning a wedding, and things like that make it harder. Leave it go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I can see why you are reasonably hurt. She has a great stepmom in you. But she may not see that or have some other agenda (obviously i don't know either of you). She was rude and insensitive but deeper attachment bewteen the pair of you can't be forced. back away but never let up being who you are, being a good woman, constant and friendly. If there can be something great between you, it will all level out in the end. Hugs! x

    Answer by Womamhood at 2:42 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • So this started with you being left off the program? Is it possible that it was a mistake? Mistakes DO happen, and if she'd had them all printed it might not have been possible for her to get them re-done.

    If you made a huge deal about an error that could not be fixed, then I'm sorry but you were in the wrong and she may well be avoiding you for unreasonableness.

    Now, if you asked her about it and she said she INTENTIONALLY left you off, then the next question is whether any other parents were included. If they were not included either, then again you are in the wrong.

    If you were the only one excluded, you have reason to be upset.

    HOWEVER, this is not a "cut out of life" offense. Not by a LONG shot. It's something to be upset about momentarily, then FORGET IT. Because no one else will even remember.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2011