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5 Bumps

What do you think?

I have this friend, she is one of those people that only talks to you when she wants something and when you need to vent or talk she turns it around to be about her. Yesterday she sends me a text asking if I had some money she could borrow so her electricity doesnt get shut off. I told her that I didnt have any money, which is true, my husband doesnt get paid for another week. Honestly though I think even if we did have the money I would have told her no anyway. She has 2 kids, she works full time, has her own place which is great. The problem is her bf. He is an alcoholic, drug user, abuser who just got out of jail for beating her up and using coke. She is back with him and is paying his probation. She tells me that if she doesnt pay it by 10 am friday he goes back to jail and if she doesnt pay her electric it gets shut off today. She's opting to pay his probation instead so he doesnt go back to jail. Anyway she got mad at me because I didnt have the money to loan her. Is it wrong of me not to feel sorry for her and that even if I had the money I wouldnt have loaned it to her?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Nope, not at all. I feel for her she has such a terrible sorry excuse for a man in her life. Just an idea...many states have laws that say the power company cannot shut the power off if there are children under a certain age in the home. Maybe you could suggest that to her? GL , don't let her get you down.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:07 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • She needs to reevaluate her priorities and start putting her children first! She has CHOSEN to be with this idiot guy so she can pay the consequences. If you wanted to do something REALLY nice, offer to watch her kids while the electirc is off. Those kids shouldn't have to suffer.
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 3:07 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Nope, plus if you would of loaned it her you might not of got the money back.
    My3Ez

    Answer by My3Ez at 3:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You did the right thing.

    Next step is to re-evaluate this friendship You describe her as a person who calls only when she needs something. That's also known as a "user."

    Expect she won't be calling again because you refused to be used.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • She lives in other state. We were room mates at one point and she moved to another state to be with him and then they moved to another state together that is farther away. She was telling me that without power, she cant have ac and her son will end up in the hospital because he has asthma and wont be able to breathe then she'll lose her job and cps will take her kids away. But yet she chooses to pay his thing instead.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i would of donee the same. we have similar problems with my MIL. she gives money to my SIL cause neither SIL and her husband work and he is a drug addict. so SIL begs MIL for money then MIL cant pay her bills, i put my foot down and said nope not going to happen, we cant afford to help you out, we have 3 kids that want to go out and do things like zoos, going out to eat, movies. and their happiness comes over your stupidity.
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 3:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I wasn't aware that probation cost anything. I though it was just a situation where the person on probation had certain restrictions and requirements for meeting with probation officers. How much does that usually cost?

    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I never answer when she calls. I have always been there for her, gave her a place to live when she had no where else to go but when I needed her, she blew me off. I stopped being there for her like a year ago.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:15 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • It depends on what you go to jail for and how long you are there. You have to pay restitution and you have to pay to be in jail, court fees and all that. I know when she was on probation it was like $25 a week she paid. I dont know how much he pays and I hope he goes back to jail. He's a dead beat dad and a loser.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • cant she go to a church and ask for money? also some states with a drs note medicaid/ welfare will pay the bill and most states have a utility allowance when on public assistance, salvation army sometimes pays bills.
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 3:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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