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Is it wrong to read your DH/SO texts or emails?

When we 1st started to date he had nothing to hide. It's 1 of the resons I fell in love with him. But the past couple of months he signs out of his email and never leaves his phone alone, even to shower! I snooped and found some lies he told me but nothing I was willing to leave the him for so I did not mention I knew he has been lying. He found out and is pissed. But I have nothing to hide and hide nothing and he still checks the history on the computer every night to check on me. I don't care but I do care that he has changed an aspect of our relationship that is very important to me. BTW the lies of have been about going out to lunch with a female co-worker (if I did that all hell would break loose), Saying he had a poker tournament the same time as my 5 yr old's bd party the game was not that night

 
hotrodlassie

Asked by hotrodlassie at 11:42 AM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,696 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • The fact that he is ditching kid things and secretly hanging out with other women, co-worker or not, is a betrayal of your marriage vows.
    Hey, DH/SO of the OP - if you are cheating, tell the truth and get on with your skank and let the OP move on to a man who deserves her. (Since you are reading this under your fake profile.)
    This is a deal breaker if he does not change. Not saying it has to be, but that it is if no change occurs.
    He is a control freak and a hypocrite. You really want this?
    LiliM

    Answer by LiliM at 4:29 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • If hes checking on you then no you werent wrong.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:44 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • You have no future with a man that lies to you. If he lies now he will continue to lie to you. I am not preaching but come on RED FLAG!!! Been there, been there, too wise to go back.

    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:44 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • if hes lying and you dont trust him anymore thats not a good sighn. trust and honesty are very importent ina relationship you need to sit down and talk to him about whats going on. Tell him how your feeling.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 11:45 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I started checking my husbands text messages recently. He never used to text until he started this new job, unfortunately our cell phone bill was more than double (because we do not have a text plan) and when I started researching, I found some interesting information. It was nothing that I would have left him for, but after I told him I knew, we had a long discussion, and have since moved on. Our relationship has actually gotten better. But--I do have to say, the text messages had nothing to do with other women, they were only sent to co-workers (about work related stuff) and one other person, (a male) whom he knows I do not care for. After all the cards were laid on the table, and we could discuss them, we moved on.
    Not sure if it was right to "snoop", but I did what I thought was in the best interest of myself and my children.
    NewMommyin06

    Answer by NewMommyin06 at 11:54 AM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yes.You should not .Not right.As long as he comes home to me I really don't care about the bs e-mails.Also he does not text. Except his boss.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 12:13 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • You were right to check, especially if you suspected that he was lying. Now that you know that he is, it is time to find someone else.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:22 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I think once he started lying that gave you the right to check his texts. He is probably hiding something from you or he would not bring his phone in the shower with him. Good luck with everything.
    shannonH12

    Answer by shannonH12 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • oh hell naw. you mean to tell me that he is allowed to check behind you but you are not allowed to check his stuff. and taking the phone in the bathroom with him is beyond suspicious. then he is lying to you. my first thought is that he is cheating (whether physical or emotional). you have every right to check his sh**. and since when did poker become more important than your kids birthday party. that shouldnt have even been an excuse to begin with. you need to confront his ass and let him know that you are aware of his lies. and that you will not accept that sh**.
    NATTY567

    Answer by NATTY567 at 12:57 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • You need to talk to him.. Sounds like something is definitely cooking up and if your not happy a discussion is very much needed!
    OXyungmamaXO

    Answer by OXyungmamaXO at 1:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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