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3 Bumps

Cursing and Child Rearing

** I was inspired by another post to launch this debate**

IMO i do not feel that parents should watch thier language around children or sugar coat curse words (like oh sugar instead of shit). IMO children are going to be exposed to foul language anyway so it is best to teach them not to repeat it. I tend to have a bad mouth and my DH too and we have never watched our language around our son. When he started to repeat things he would get a swat and it was explained that "that word is a bad word and only mommy and daddy can say it". Now at age 4 he will call us out when he hears us curse and tell us "mommy thats a bad word" and i praise him and tell him good job and that he is right thats a bad word and i am proud that he pointed it out. I just feel that if you take your child out in public you cant ask the world to speak baby friendly so its best to just teach them not curse instead of sheltering them from it. Send me your feedback CM


Asked by MonkeyMommyNJ at 4:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (25)
  • Children need to learn there are things for adults and things for children. There are certain priviledges you have when you grow up. Making yourself act like your child is a little ridiculous. Do people who believe you shouldn't swear also believe you shouldn't have a drink? Children shouldn't have alcohol until 21. How about sex? Do you not have it because it is wrong. Just because it's not being done in front of them, don't think they don't know what is going on, their school friends have big brothers and sisters and it's talked about quite a bit. Do you keep them away from all music except Christian or Gospel? How about movies, everything but the mildest G rated? How about TV? Do you keep them out of school? Video games? You cannot shield your child from cuss words unless you lock them in a closet. Teach them it's an adult thing, period.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:32 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • The BEST way to teach your child not to do something is to be an EXAMPLE of what/who to be. You can't tell the world what to do with their mouths, but you can be that example in your own home and in your own life. I believe you should try the best to guide your children to what you feel is right and teach them that not everyone thinks the same, but "this is what we do in our home, or in our family" type thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You're sending a mixed message by telling your son something is wrong, but you can curse without getting your hand smacked.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 5:12 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think it's best to lead by example. How am I going to do a behavior openly in front of my child while teaching her that it's wrong?

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Well I wouldn't spank him for it. You are teaching him the word and then punishing him for doing something that is natural.

    However I have never changed the way I speak. Once in awhile we use adult language and DD has heard it from day one. When she learned it we just explained that adults use some words that kids shouldn't say. And she should not say it in public. (We did not stop her from saying it at home as long as she wasn't using it to be rude or hurtful) She chooses not to say it at all which is just fine.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:02 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I agree with you. Although I don't actually see anything wrong with "curse words" and don't understand where the idea of "bad words" came from in the first place. I mean, who decided that shit was a bad word, yet poop isn't? I mean really? What's the difference? Words are words... Letters grouped together. They aren't bad, they aren't good. They just are.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:09 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • We do watch our language because I don't want my child going up to someone and using an inappropriate term she doesn't understand (like f*ck off! and start laughing). We don't sugar coat it because that can sound just as bad at times! We just simply choose not to say it and yes sometimes words slip and we correct them or dd says "you shouldn't say that" and we agree with her. I do think you should expect to hear it out in public but I don't think a child should be brought up thinking it's fine to say whatever whenever because I don't want my child to be unable to control her language in places that there shouldn't be foul language or during a quiet movie or concert! There is a time and a place for everything even though not everyone agrees which places or times these are. And generally people watch their language around kids unless they were brought up to say whatever whenever.

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • So you swear, we lead our children by example so when your child says the word he got from you, you swat him? Hmmm.. I do watch my mouth in front of our son but I also do it for words like stupid and idiot ( which are words on toy story and cars ) we tell him they are words for TV, not to be repeated and do that also if we curse but I don't need to swat him if he learned it from me -

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:13 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • There are some things that are appropriate for adults that are simply not appropriate for children. There is nothing wrong with children leaning that they can't do everything that we do.


    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I believe children will grow up to mirror a lot of their parent's habits, and it won't matter that you told him not to when he was little. If he hears foul language from Mom and Dad on a regular basis, he will grow up thinking it is ok to do so. You will be showing him that it's ok, and you will be reinforcing that 100's of thousands of times. Even if you stop him from doing it as a young child, it's almost a guarantee that he will grow up sounding very much like his parents. This may not bother you since you see nothing wrong with adults cursing on a regular basis, but I see it as a very unattractive habit that might even limit a child's job opportunities someday.  Why not build his vocabulary with non-curse words and teach to be a great communicator?  That's a skill that will open doors for him.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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