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Should I feel guilty about asking my boyfriend for help around the house, even though right now Im not working?

I have always worked in the past 3 years of our relationship, except the month before our baby, and the 3 weeks after he was born. Sometimes I get so frustrated because (boyfriend)he is soo messy, and never helps clean up. Im not working though, so is it my job to stay at home, watch our 11 month old and constantly clean and cook by myself? Am I over-reacted? Why do I feel so guilty?

Answer Question

Asked by reillersmm at 5:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • No, you both live there. Since when does SAHM mean slave? He needs to help too, caring for a house and a child is a full time job!

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 5:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • You both live there and he helps make the mess. IMO he should help.

    Answer by tspillane at 5:19 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • stop doing his laundry and stop cooking for him. see how he feels about that. he needs to help you. this is not the 1950's and we women are not donna reed.

    Answer by flamingomegs at 5:19 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • No, he should be able to pick up after himself. I am a sahm. I take care of the kids, cook, clean all of that but it is not my job to make sure both of dh's socks make it into the hamper or his dvd's get picked up before the kids get into them.

    Answer by JamieLK at 5:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • no you are not overreacting its how we all feel because we get stuck with a lot on our plate...the older the baby gets the more he will be into stuff and you will really need help...he can only respect how you feel...

    Answer by ELIJAHSMOM1111 at 5:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • My husband and I share household responsibilities. I do MOST of the housework, because I am home a lot more than he is, but he helps. He understands that caring for kids is a HUGE job all by itself, and without help he's seen the house fall apart.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • The guiltiness you are feeling is what we all know as being responsible. You are used to having responsibilities outside the home. Can you choose only one and only one chore that your dh might like to do? What about vacuuming? Something that only your dh will exclusively do. I know it is not much only 1 chore but you'll see that he will eventually pick up the pace.

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 5:33 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Wow, No! I am staying at home right now as well bc my job ends during the summer and Im 9 months prego. My man irritates the HELL out of me bc he doesnt help out at ALL. He has one main job, the litter box... and he cant seem to even keep up on that. Yea, he should of course pitch in around the house and you should not feel guilty expecting him to help. Growing a baby, and taking care of one is a job all its own!

    Answer by Tarrar at 5:49 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • It is your job to take care of the home and child since you are a SAHM..... but.... that does not include cleaning up every mess your piggy of a S/O makes.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • No, you should not feel guilty. He lives there, he makes messes. You should do most of the work since you are home and he isn't, but that doesn't mean that he should come home and sit on his butt.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 5:58 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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