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How do i toughen my skin

just with anything, comments people make, things people do..
i'm tired of being overly sensitive. i watch what i say not to hurt others' feelings,
which is good i don't want to stop doing that, but when someone hurts me, it sticks with me forever
how do i reflect all that off of me, i assume it takes practice but practice doing what i just can't not make something hurt, it just does. i want more control over these things, anyone have specific advice?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I know what you mean! I'm very similar. It's really a mind over matter thing. Just tell yourself that you're better than that and try not to dwell on it. If it helps, try to distract yourself after it happens or talk to someone about it. Think rationally through it.
    tspillane

    Answer by tspillane at 5:26 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • that helps
    one time i was so nervous and didn't know if i should freak or walk away and resent the person later or what. i ended up repeating "im better than that, im better thn that, im better than this!" for literally a whole hour nonstop
    it distracted my thoughts from thinking horrible things i bet
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:31 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think you need to keep in mind that most people are thinking about themselves most of the time, not about how what they say or do may be taken by someone else. Feeling hurt by something that wasn't intended to hurt you is something that you are choosing to do.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 5:33 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • anytime anyone says anything negative to you, repay them with a compliment. be nicer than them. It will make them stop and think about what they just said to you.
    other than that, you just need to remember that it does not matter what other people think of you, you know you are a good person, that's what matters.. Some people just have not had "people skills 101" taught to them...
    nybor48

    Answer by nybor48 at 5:40 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems. I heard this phrase many years ago and amazingly it is always true. In this case, it is to accept that we are powerless over anyone but ourselves. Just as we have the right to say and think what we wish, so does everyone else. So what if someone says something. At that point it is up to me on what I am going to do with it. Who are you trying to please? People pleasing will always end with disapointments. Look at it different and change the way you think. The mind and thoughts are where emotions come from. Control and redirect. Once something is said, nothing you can do will change it, so you have to change how you process it. Remind yourself people have the right to be who they are, and it doesn't affect you. Just take action and stay logical. With practice you will let it roll off of you and move on. Fight and think positive. :-)
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 5:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Choose how to react, thats all you have control over. I used to dwell on all the crap my ex would say and do, it killed me. Then I realized he could care less about my feelings and probably enjoys that he is able to hurt me like he did. It just all of a sudden hit me that I could control how much energy I was going to waste on him. So now, he says or does something(we have a child together) to upset me and I tell a good friend. If I'm still mad after that, which I'm usually not cause they've agreed he's a jerk, I'll write it down somewhere. If it happens to be something keeping me up at night I pray about it until I fall asleep, I always wake up feeling better about it.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 6:54 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think I'm sensitive, too, and I tend to just put people on my "bad" list sometimes and have a hard time not having really negative feelings towards them. I don't think there's a way to be less sensitive, and, in fact, I think there's a lot of good things about being a very sensitive person (for example, you are more careful of other people's feelings). For me, I think it's about forgiveness. I don't want to be less sensitive, but I want to be more compassionate towards people who hurt me. I don't want to NOT feel what they've done to me, but I want to NOT carry the anger with me. That's my goal.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I am the type to relive what others have said or done to me that is mean or rude. I have taken Dr. Phil's advice. I ask myself if it will matter a year from now. If I answer no, then I just try to let it go. As I've gotten older, it's easier to do. I find that those that truly matter don't treat me that way, and that's who I try to surround myself with. I would never treat others the way some of them have treated me! A quote I love: "how they treat me is their Karma, how I react is mine".
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 7:07 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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