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Live and Learn VS You Cant Do That

IMO i feel that live and learn method is more effective then the your not allowed. Sometimes just telling your child no works but others it doesnt. i feel that if i tell my son to stop jumping off the couch because he will get hurt more the 2 times then he is on his own and if he gets hurt i dont want to hear him cry. In the beginning he would keep doing it until he got hurt one time and i sent him to his room (after checking out the boo boo of course) now when he is doing something dangerous all i have to do is tell him that im only going to say stop twice then if you get hurt i dont want to hear it, and he will stop no questions no argument. IMO boys will be boys do i see a broken bone in his future i want to see him break a bone absolutely not..but he needs to learn from experience. And the debate is on CM...


Asked by MonkeyMommyNJ at 5:43 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (12)
  • I am the type of person who has never listened to the "you can't do that" crap... So I figure live and learn is better, cause if they are like their mom, they will try it even if I tell them they can't.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:59 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I practice cause and effect parenting. If there is an immediate effect to thier action than I will let them learn that way, but if the danger is not immediate I will create an immediate pu ishment that is related to the cause. For example... If my kids jump, stand, or put thier feet on the furniture than they are not allowed to use the furniture for the rest of the day. They must sit on the floor. Sitting on the couch is a privilege in my household that is only extended to the people who respect the couch. I also confiscate or hide things left around the house (not put away where they go). When they miss the item they learn how to put it away. Doing this, I have got my toddlers telling daddy not to leave his shoes in the living room! LMAO

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 9:59 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • A little bit of both, but mostly live and learn (also know as love and logic). Basically the consequence of the action is it's own punishment. Don't want to wear your hat, your head will be cold. Jump off the couch, hurt your arm. Don't treat your friends with respect, no one plays with you..... This is the technique I go with unless I know there could be some seriously dangerous consequences.


    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:52 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think it depends on the circumstances and the consequences of the action. Don't worry mom, my son didn't get a broken bone until 17 so maybe you're safe for a while. Although we were stiched, glued, steri-stripped and it happened so much he used to have me just steri-strip him.

    Answer by attap5 at 8:48 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I love the live and learn. But, obviously you have to set boundaries. Like... no running in the street (as they might not live to learn) and dont touch the stove etc.

    Answer by Tarrar at 5:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • oh yes absolutely, when i was teaching my son not to touch the stove i would find a spot on it that was hot enough where you couldnt touch there for long but not hot enough to actually get burned..and i would explain that it was hot and place his hand on the spot..he never touched the stove again

    Comment by MonkeyMommyNJ (original poster) at 5:47 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • but of course certian things like running into the street or playing with knives ect are obvious "because i said so"

    Comment by MonkeyMommyNJ (original poster) at 5:49 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • A little bit of both, when I was growing up my mom told me "Dumb people learn off their mistakes, smart people learn off of other peoples mistakes." I think its kind of true to an extent

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i like both.. lol..

    Answer by girlglow6 at 6:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I just want to say that i enjoy hosting my debates to express my views and to allow others to express their views. I feel that we can all learn from one another by seeing other people thoughts, traditions and philosophies. I do not debate with malicious intent and find it disheartening to see posts that are intently and deliberately meant to be mean or belittling. So please share your views, opinions, thought, philosophy and traditions but lets keep it civil. Thank you..I am posting this to all my questions due to some unsavory responses

    Comment by MonkeyMommyNJ (original poster) at 8:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2011