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Friends and Liars....

So I have a friend who was "dumped" by another one of my friends because of a disagreement. So the one that got "dumped" (lol) comes over to my house and we hang out and I brought up the other woman's name a few times because we talk and we're semi close, but not as close as the one that was at my house. So, she says "I don't know how close you are with _____ but she has a history of lying". She proceeds to tell me a few situations where she caught the other woman in "lies" and got upset about it and that's what ultimately ended their friendship. I'm not usually one to judge others or necessarily stay away from people just because they don't get along with one of my other friends. I say, until they burn you themselves you can't judge them fully enough to NOT be their friend. So, what do you think? Should I heed the other friends' advice, just be careful, or just ignore her totally? Have you ever been in that type of situation before?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I should also add, since she warned me, things have been popping out to me that the other one has said. Not harmful to anyone, just little lies that may make her look better or whatever. WWYD?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i would continue being her friend but keep my eyes & ears open.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:46 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I'll still be friends with her. Its too unfair if you will listen to people around you telling stuff about this one person when you cant even prove if that person is actually like that. you will need to listen what your gut says tho, the woman instinct! most of the time, its right, well at least for me.. =)
    rubymommylee

    Answer by rubymommylee at 5:51 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would make my own judgements and tell dumped friend that you are an adult you can make your own decisions. Why would you listen and participate in gossip?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:52 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i give people the benefit of doubt and if she has been a good friend to you then whats the big deal? I stay away from gossip because like you already know there is always two sides to every story!!
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 6:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I don't usually participate in gossip, but she said she just wanted to give me a "heads up" on why they aren't friends and what I should watch out for.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I would still be friends with her. If she is just lying to make herself look better and it is not hurting anyone, that is not that big of a deal, although it can be hard to deal with. One of my best friends lied about nearly anything she could to make herself look better or whatever--she lied about the father of her oldest daughter, a car that she "owned", said she was an RN, etc, etc, etc. I learned to just not ever trust anything that she said on what "she said", I would only believe her if someone else backed her story up, usually her family members or other friends.
    Tawneekitn

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i was in a similar situation not to long ago, a friend i love greatly became friends with someone who i do not trust nor like.. And though we have all known each other since high school I am finding it hard to be friends with her since they became friends.. and we have almost completely stopped talking.. but this other girl as well as her family and social circle are not people i have ever trusted and have hurt me and my kids.. i didnt know what else to do.. is not my place to tell her who she can and cant be friends with.. idk...
    girlglow6

    Answer by girlglow6 at 6:29 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • i would try to figure out the root cause of WHY she was lying
    a friendship cannot grow if you don't trust her, so maybe say
    i really want to trust you, i can right?
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 7:56 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Do you trust your friend that told you? I, myself, don't listen to rumors about people! But if a friend that has personal experience with someone, I listen! If you trust your friend, I think you should listen to her advice.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:05 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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