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MIL send worst email ever to bride: Forgivable?

Many of you may have seen this email already since it's obviously gone viral. My question is, what do you think? I think where the MIL may have been rude in her choice of words, it sounds as if her DIL was a very bad guest in her home... There is NOTHING worse than a bad house guest. Also wanting to have the most extravagant wedding, In a castle no less.. when her In-Laws are the ones paying for it... I'd probably be a little peeved as a MIL as well. Do you think the email was uncalled for or did she have it coming? I think she kind of had it coming. Although I may have worded it a little bit better lol

from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

The link for those of you who wan't to read the whole article:

Answer Question

Asked by firethearson at 6:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 18 (4,925 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • The MIL made herself look like the one without the manners. Totally uncalled for.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 6:55 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Uncalled for. If she had a problem then she could go to her son since it is his bride.

    Answer by gemgem at 6:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I agree. Although I would never have sent that letter it does sound like the girl was rude and disrespectful. Talking about his family in public. Being rude about sounds like she did have poor manners. The line about her parents saving money for her wedding was unnecessary.

    To be honest, although I agree the girl had bad manners, I think the future MIL lacked grace in sending such a letter. I'm just glad I'm not part of that family!

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:57 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • at least the dil knows where she is coming from

    Answer by angevil53 at 7:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I agree, the letter was rude in itself. I wonder what the son said about the letter, because according to the article that spoke of the email the two sets of In-Laws are feuding now.

    Comment by firethearson (original poster) at 7:01 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Wow, half the stuff she's pissed about I could NEVER see my parents caring about. She's becoming part of the family and it really sounds as if mom was treating her more like a house guest than future daughter. I don't see many parents telling their adult kids to wait before getting more food or expecting their adult kids to wake up when they do when they visit.

    What a cold family if they expect that behavior from each other. I'd hate to be related to her!

    Answer by miss_lisa at 7:03 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Ew thats one selfish e-mail.

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 7:14 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I think it's her opinion and should have voiced it in private instead of in an email that got put online. It's just as bad as whatever it was that happened in the pub (airing dirty laundry and making a spectacle of oneself). Sort of the pot calling the kettle black so to speak

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • It does sound like some undesirable manners, and it shouldn't have been made public. Boo to the anonymous friend. The MIL had every right to her opinions.

    Answer by wenona_mandy at 7:22 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I agree admckenzie. I believe things would have been a lot better if she had spoken with her in person. Also I know some of the things she did, didn't seem horrible to us. Like eating before everyone else, and getting seconds. But I believe these are upper class European citizens, and they have different ideas on etiquette.

    Comment by firethearson (original poster) at 7:23 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

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