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Does anybody else feel like this?

(I am not sure if this is the right category to put this in??)
I never feel like I am good enough; for anything. I have never felt like I was good enough for my parents, although I always tried really hard. I don't feel like I am good enough for my husband (in bed, looks wise, etc.) and although people tell me I am a great mom, I just don't feel like I am. Does anybody else feel like this or am I crazy?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Im with ya all they way! I gained 50 pounds with my daughter and only lost ten of that and now 3 years later im prego and my husband freaks out if i eat anything... He keeps telling me im gonna be huge by July... but i cant just not eat and small portions just doens cut it... I know he isnt being rude about it he is just watcing out for me but i feel sick and fat around him.. Sorry you feel this way !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • No! i have never felt like that at all. It is sound like a self esteem issue you have. Don't concentrate on doing things to please others. Do things to make yourself happy first and formost. You are not happy with yourself that is why you like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • WOW!!!!to the first post tell your hubby to f off. YOu cant stop eating because you have to make sure your baby is healthy. Your hubby shouldnt be worried how much you weight while you are pregnant. He should be concentrating on your health and the baby's health. Dont listen to him. He isnt looking out for you. He should love you and tell you you are beautiful regardless of your size. if he wants to help there are many other nice ways for him to help.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Get to a counselor. I've been there, done that. Nearly destroyed a number of relationships that way. Don't know if you're religious, but I know my faith did a lot to help me. I have an adopted spec needs son. I cal him Prince Charming. He told me the other night that he was not a prince. I said, Yes, you are. You are a child of God's. He is the King of Kings. Thus, YOU are a prince. So, you ARE a princess. Also know that you are "Fearfully and wonderfully made." God made you exactly as He wants you to be. You don't have to be perfect for the King of Kings to love you. He loves you exactly the way you are, where you are. And the only one you need to be "good enough" for is Him. And you don't have to do that.
    mommy22miracles

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 12:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Let me see if I can explain it a bit better. I failed miserably to be a good wife to my hubby. He was a lousy hubby to me. Then we learned that the only one we needed to please was God. So hubby did those things for me that he felt God lead him to do. I do those things for hubby that I feel lead to do. I do them for God, not for hubby. I get soooo much more done this way and hubby is much happier. And, for God, hubby brings me coffee in bed every morning. He would have NEVER done it for just me before. Take the focus off being "good" for everyone else. Focus on the relationship with God, and the other relationships will bloom. And this is not to say that you must earn God's love. THAT is a gift--pure and simple. The reason for the Season. But get some counseling, too. It will help. If you're not a Christian, well, I don't know what to say, other than counseling.
    mommy22miracles

    Answer by mommy22miracles at 12:51 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • The weight you gain with pregnancys suck it really is a lot of work to take it off not to mention the fact that there is barely any you time you just gotta keep your mind set and if its not weight just except who you are it doesn't what other people think.!!
    OXyungmamaXO

    Answer by OXyungmamaXO at 1:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I used to feel like this all the time. Occasionally I still do. I don't know exactly what changed it. Slowly over time I changed different things about my life. I still feel far from perfect, but I have learned that perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be either. I quit some bad habits and I made a few adjustments. Going to Church definitely did help me to grow emotionally beyond those feelings. You should try to get some help where ever you can. See a doctor, reach out to a friend, or talk to a pastor or someone at your Church. Volunteer work is also very therapeutic for the soul. You're not alone in the way you feel, but you have to take active steps to heal yourself. Nothing anyone else says or does will ever be good enough to convince you that you are good enough. You have to believe it for yourself.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:22 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • wow first anon i gained A LOT of weight during my pregnancy and my hubby tried to make me eat more! "Here, eat this banana, and drink this [huge] glass of milk, eat more this, eat more that!" LOL I already seriously ate too much and he was getting on my nerves! I think your hubby needs to know that you're pregnant and you DO have cravings and the baby inside does need to thrive! You're carrying his baby and you're the one that needs to nurture it not him.. Hope he realizes he's wrong. GL
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 1:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Back to the question.. I do feel the same way you do. I used to work and give my parents all the money and still feel as though I'm not good enough for them. I also don't feel as though I'm a great mom for my baby although I try my best. And same goes for how you feel about not being good enough for hubby either.. But I'm not sure how I can help you because I was actually sexually abused when I was younger so maybe that has something to do with my problems now. Do you think there are any underlying problems that you may not think actually relates to your situation?
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 1:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • no because i know i can't please everybody but the most important person to please is myself. they either accept me the way i am or not. if they don't they are missing something in me that i feel is well worth everything. you need to read this book, no one can take your place by sheri dew. i will lift you up. also inform you of how great you really are. i had a bad past too but i worked hard to get over the insecurities but what helped most was books that explained why i felt like you do. although i never have felt as bad as that. just blue and needed more appreciation.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:59 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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