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I have my 3 yr old boy potty trained (see below) but he still wets and poops his pants. How can I get him to use the potty?

I am the grandmother, but I adopted him last October. He is a victim of shaken baby syndrome and is a few months behind in development. He knows to use the potty, even comes to me and tells me, while doing the potty dance, that he doesn't have to use the potty. He will pee in the potty, but wants me to be there with him when he goes. He refuses to poop in the potty, but knows that is where he is supposed to go. He has been peeing on the floor with his pants on for several weeks now and I am frustrated. I have tried ignoring the problem, like the books say; I have tried spanking him and telling him he knows where to go. He will go in the potty a couple of times and then start peeing on the floor again. I need to know if there is anything else I can do.

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Asked by liz_123156 at 8:09 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Potty training especially for boys takes alot of time. With some kids even though they know they have to go the potty is a whole other story. You are looking at a month at least of accidents. If the mess is getting to you they have training pants that are cloth like panties on the inside and plastic on the outside.

    Answer by MISSOCTOBER at 8:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Some boys don't fully get control until into the 4's. Accidents, every now and then, are normal until 8 or so. I would get some pull-ups in case of accidents, and don't react to them, except to say, "Next time, when you feel like it might be coming, tell me and I'll help you get to the potty. We want to get it in the potty."
    The punishing might actually worsen the problem.
    Hugs. he'll get it, mama.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:19 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Don't punish him. He's still learning this! Maybe he's just not ready. Maybe just take him every half hour for now and praise him when he goes in the potty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Your grandson is not potty trained. He uses the potty sometimes. He is a boy. He is making progress. He needs patience and praise when he has success. Encourage him and do not punish him.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:02 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • hun if u hit him or yell at him he is going to not going on the potty cuz it will be a bad expericen u want it to be a happy place where hes comfy in going. we had a hard time with or almost 4yr girl we have had her potty trained now 4 times completley an she keeps going back she know shes sposse to go too. its hard it realy is we have books that we read to her how elmo goes to the potty an shows an we tryed pull ups works fro my little bro but she is allergic an we have tryed her fav carttoon undys which works well we say u dont want to reuin these undes. or the reward system where they get a sticker every time they go on the potty an they after so many like 5 or so when they first start out they can get a toy when u go to the store or go to a play place make them feel involed an big for doing it .

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 10:43 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • He for sure isn't trained yet and you shouldn't punish him for it.

    What you need to do.... bring him at regular intervals... very frequently at first... as often as every 20-30 mins and have him try. Praise him for trying, try a reward for going (1-2 jelly beans worked well for my son). As he gets it stretch out the time to about 90 mins until he consistently starts asking to go on his own... after that let him tell you. It will likely take MONTHS until he doesn't have accidents. And you will need to be there with him... it takes a long time before they are able to do it on their own... you need to do most of the work until he understands it fully.

    If he does potty his pants... remind him we potty on the toilet, take him out of his wet clothes and have him try to go potty on the toilet. Don't get upset with him though.


    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • He is Normal.
    It's not something that happens like switching on the light switch.
    Know that it may continue for several more year ( = normal).
    You should act like it's normal and say nothing of it to/around the child.
    NO punishment/discipline!

    Answer by doulala at 3:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

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