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Did it pan out for you?

What was your plan for your life? What was it you were going to do? Did you do it?

My plan was to finish high school (did it) then move onto college. I had one picked up in upstate New York but even if I didnt get into there I was simply going somewhere away from here. I would do the whole college thing & see where things went from there.

Instead at 16yo I finally got fed up with the abuse from my parents & while my mother was beating me I got up & ran away never looked back literally still havent gone back or spoken a single word to her to this day 8 years later. This resulted in having an apartment with my high school boyfriend which of course didnt work out after that it was off to a homeless shelter for me. Turned 18 no more shelter, got another apartment & got into drugs. Partied but managed to graduate high school. After all of that had no clue where or what to do. Hung around then finally met my now SO & a year later got pregnant. Now I am a sahm to my 3yo.

I am happy with my life but gosh its not what I planned. I tried my hardest to endure the abuse & stay at my parents house until college but I couldnt. I tried to stay away from the drugs etc while in the homeless shelter & after but it didnt happen. I even tried college a couple of classes at a community college but dropped out. Sometimes though I wish things would have gone the way I had planned. Then maybe I would have gotten out of this state, away from the only place/area I've ever known, done some traveling, seen some of the world.

I know theres still time but gosh some days it seems like this is it for me. I sure hope that at least some of my dreams come true even though they are kind of different now that I am a mother. Sorry just having one of those nights.


Asked by Mel30248 at 9:11 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (25,898 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You've got a whole lot of life ahead of you still. You are really just beginning. (Maybe this "not panning out" feeling is coming from the sense that your teen years are over - I felt that way in my early 20s too). It's a shame you don't have a decent relationship with your mom. Mom's are a great resource for helping you raise your children and can be a wonderful support system when you have a good relationship. Be patient with yourself. Having a child takes most of your focus for the next several years and ensuring that they thrive should be at the basis for every decision you make. And stay away from people and circumstances that will take you towards activities that are harmful like drugs or drinking. You really are just on the threshold of life. You've got all kinds of possibilities.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I don't think Anyones life goes exactly according to plan. Otherwise things would be boring.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:15 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • My life is nothing like I planned. Not opposite, just very different. But, I love the man I married. I love the children I have. I love the home we've built together. And daily we work to imporve on the areas we're not completely happy with. So, I'm bummed some of my plans didnt plan out...and I'm devastated my mother couldn't be here for more of it. But I do like the way it decided to go...mostly.

    Answer by mlmkjw at 9:16 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • maybe you could plan on going back to school, if u really want it- it is certainly attainable.
    you and your hubby could pick a date maybe sometime in 2012 and you guys could plan to leave the country, every month you guys could set at least $ 50 dollars aside towards you vacation. don't let your missed opportunities get u down, tomorrow is another day. if you and hubby start this vacation fund , you will both have something to look forward to. good luck.

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • My life didn't go as planned for quite a few years, but eventually it ended up the way that I wished it would go.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 9:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Sometimes even the best laid plans don't work out. But it is up to you to be the change. I know you can do it.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 9:20 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I'll do the college thing in due time first got to get the kid into school (couple more years) get back to working part time at least then see if/what I can afford for schooling at that point & go from there. As far as moving away not going to happen until at least my daughter is older or until after high school even. I plan to start a vacation fund when I go back to work & SO puts a lot away for retirment so we're really good there & we have that money to take if we want any time & plenty of it, he actually makes a lot of money but bc we put so much of it away into retirement I cant afford to start school just yet.

    I know its not too late but still sometimes I think it would have been nice if I had simply made it to college the "normal" way which I know isnt the normal way per say but back then it was my only hope of kicking this place & never looking back. I just got stuck here instead.

    Comment by Mel30248 (original poster) at 9:27 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I wanted to be with who I am with. I wanted to have a college education, a good job, and a house before I started having children...and I did that. I wanted 4 children and we are well on our way with three and TTC. The differences are that I thought I would be doing a completely different career, and in my teenage mind I didn't line up what would be a practical when balancing work and family. I had thought I would be living a jet set lifestyle, but that doesn't work out with kids. Also, I thought we would be married because that was always the "next step" but we have been together over a decade and probably wont get married at this point.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:27 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • My life did not turn out how I wanted it to be......

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:10 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I had planned on joining the Navy and seeing the world. I didn't want to be a wife or a mother. I got mixed up with an "aimless" crowd, didn't follow through with the Navy plan, I met my dh, was head over hills in love. We married, he joined the military, I went to school, we bought our home and I now have two beautiful boys and I couldn't be happier! I have a life I love, but certainly not what I had planned!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:58 PM on Jul. 1, 2011