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And you thought you had the worst MIL.....

I've heard about evil stepmothers and evil mother-in-laws, but Carolyn Bourne of Devon, England takes the cake: She's both. When Bourne's stepson Freddie brought his fiance Heidi Withers to meet his family, Heidi soon discovered that her soon to be MIL was a complete biatch. And lucky for us, there's hard evidence.

You see Carolyn, displeased with Heidi's manners during their visit, sent Heidi an email explaining all the ways Heidi messed up during her stay as a guest in Carolyn's home.

Carolyn's words are bone-chilling. She writes:

(Oh, and as if I had to tell you, this should be read aloud, and with a British accent):

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.



Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 11:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would not reconsider but I would surreptitiously record my mother in law and make a living out of mocking her.

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 11:37 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. <----------------If that's true, then that was really

    But I agree was CRAZY for someone to email her that crap. Seriously? I've got manners, I believe in manners, and everything she listed I probably would have done, but I find it equally as rude to send someone such a "in your face" email about what they did wrong.
    I would forward it to my fiance and ask if he's ready to stand up for his fiance for the REST OF HER LIFE! lol

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:45 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I read that a few hours ago and I just had to call my MIL and let her know how much I appreciate her. We have had our disagreements but it was nothing compared to this lady. I agree though, that would push me over the edge if I was having any doubts to marrying someone.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:24 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • this make me wanna punish this lady in the face and ask her where her mannars are!

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 11:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • I just saw that on Yahoo! I wonder how the fiance' feels?

    Answer by TARARENEE at 11:34 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Let's take a breather here for second. That was intense.

    OK. So much to say. First of all, I believe in manners. I believe in thank you notes and I believe in common sense. Sounds like Heidi made some classic rookie mistakes when it comes to etiquette, but did she deserve an email like this?

    No way. Carolyn is cutting, rude, and pretentious. She's clearly not trying to help Heidi, but reprimand her in the most demeaning way possible. (Just realized that if Carolyn reads this, I could be getting a nasty email, too. Score.)

    Here's the question. If Carolyn was your soon-to-be mother-in-law, and you hadn't yet said your vows, would this change your mind about marrying into this family? I will say that it would certainly push me over the edge if I had any doubt whatsoever that my fiance was the man for me. To know that someone in his family hates, or disapproves of me so much as to send an email like this would make me reconside

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Jun. 30, 2011

  • Sadly my mil is still worse than hers. I have emails that make her mil look like a saint. My mil told my husband I was cheating on him and paid a guy to hit on me and later lie and say I was having sex with him. The guy fessed up when my attorney contacted him and informed him lying about someone and ruining their character could land him in trouble. He shared emails my mil sent him telling him what to say. I had a hard time forgiving my husband for believing I would do that but we are working on it. The only way I agreed to work on things with him was if he cut his mom off completely and he happily agreed. She has sent me hate mail and threatened to kill me so I am pretty sure mine is the worst

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • She is off the wall and out of line and if she was my MIL I would have her hate me cause I would give her an ear full meanwhile I would still get married bc one monkey WON't STOP my show

    Answer by benitaapplebomb at 1:24 AM on Jul. 1, 2011