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Rant, moms that use the "boys will be boys" excuse for EVERYTHING

There is a lady I know, who is quit nice. she has 2 boys, both very big for their ages, and LOUD. The 6 year old has the speech of a maybe 3 year old? He is very hard to understand. Anyhow he just finished Kindergarten, and in the beginning of the year the teachers mentioned that he was behind in alot of areas(holding scissors wrong, coloring and printing terrible, didnt like to participate in activities, speech etc) Anyhow, she just says " well hes a boy, they hate coloring, so thats why he is bad at it" or "only girls are good at speaking at that age" and Ive heard " hes a boy, he dosnt like to still, do work, but he can climb trees realy well!!" (sure, great, but that wont help him in school, lol)
I've had to bite my toungue, as well, my ds is the same age and can do all those things, and * gasp * hes a boy too! I think she is setting him up to fail with such low expectations for him, and trying to use the "but hes a boy" excuse/train of thought. Im sorry but teach your kid already!! Listen to the teachers?? I dont get it.

Answer Question
 
minimo77

Asked by minimo77 at 12:49 AM on Jul. 1, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 21 (11,439 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • well she is delaying him but if he really speak at a 3yr old level you would think the school would be concerned!
    serenityspeaks

    Answer by serenityspeaks at 12:52 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • sounds like denial. She doesnt want to admit there is something wrong with he child which is bad for the child since she isnt addressing it and helping it catch up
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:53 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • This is crazy and she will see what she doing in the long run
    benitaapplebomb

    Answer by benitaapplebomb at 12:55 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Wow, that's sort of neglect to me since she is not getting her son the proper help that he needs. I'm really surprised that the school hasn't said anything about getting him some speech therapy since it's partly their responsibility also to report if a child is behind.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 1:02 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I say, yes, boys will be boys, but parents should be parents and help teach these boys what they need to know to grow up to be good and productive men.... Because it's not an automatic process, someone doesn't just wave a wand over their heads just before they turn 18 and say "wham - now you know everything you need to know about responsibility, you've got an education, etc..."
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:03 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I agree. Although you might need to take in consideration that she may actually be aware of the fact that her kid is falling behind. Think about it, its embarassing. A mother never wants her child to be of failure.. perhaps reach out to her, and gentley suggest that moving her son up with the other kids could start a tsunami of confusion and frustration for the poor boy.
    thisunderwood

    Answer by thisunderwood at 2:16 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like a mom that is looking for a reason to explain what's wrong. Plenty of parents want to deny there's an issue by fluffing it off as a case of 'norm.'

    Do you know, however, that the family is doing nothing to help him? Maybe he is in speech therapy. Maybe he has had OT. It might something they are working with on a private front but not comfortable being open about it publicly. maybe her answer is just to 'save face'

    we have 'friends' with a child that should not be moved up to 2nd grade. he's immature. he was struggling. his speech is an issue. he had the grades to move ahead, albeit barely. His parents pushed to move him along. I don't agree with it, but it's not my choice to make.

    As for "boys will be boys" I hate the saying. It's used to dismiss less than desirable behavior usually. You don't typically hear it in relation to something pleasant or admirable. ;)
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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