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3 Bumps

If hubby called you fat as a joke, would you be upset?

Okay, so I'm around 15 pounds over weight and I'll admit its been 2 years since I had a baby so it's no longer babyfat, just weight I gained during pregnancy and wasnt able to go with the rest of the 10 pounds I lost.

Anywho, I try not to talk to him about how I feel about my weight because, I just don't feel like showing him that vulnerable side of me, he wouldnt understand with his eat the world and gain an ounce metabolism, I'm only 5 ft and weigh 135 pounds. I'm also pregnant again, and I know this one is going to be another 20 pounds, I'm hungry ALL the time.

Anywho, I told im I didnt want a kiss because he had morning breath, and he was like. "What the hell, I never call you out, your fat." I mean it was a joke, but it kind of stung.
Once upon a time ago, he had an affair with this tiny petite girl, when we got into our confrentation, she told me how fat I was, and my husband to enjoy moving fat rolls around for the rest of his life"

Once he said that, my eyes got a little watery, but I didnt let him see. It just reminded me of how much it hurt when she said it to him. After he cheated on me, I chose to stay with him but I closed my heart up from being vulnerable to him, he told her my secrets, and She told them right back to me. To be honest, I want to lose weight, its just school full time, work full time plus my little girl, and teaching sunday school class, is hard to juggle on top of going to the gym every day. I dont know if he really thinks I'm fat, or if he was really just joking. Should he even look at me like that? Idk... :(

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would be so very upset if my husband said that to me, even if he were joking.

    Though I can understand your desire not to be vulnerable to him again, you should talk to him about that. And not just about the comment, about it all - the affair, the spilled secrets and your feelings about the whole situation since it sounds like it's all tied together. He needs to understand where you're coming from and also know that he still has a long way to go to repairing the damage he did to your relationship with him.

    Answer by Tommyskitty at 1:32 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • sadhugs


    Answer by mrsziemann at 1:32 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Mine has called me fat as a joke but it was just that a joke, your reaction and feelings have to do with the affair he had that you're still not over in my opinion. It's not healthy to be in a relationship where you feel like you can't be completely open and vulnerable in, your significant other is the person you should be like that with. And to add another thing, 15 lbs over is not bad plus you are pregnant sweetie, you don't need this stress on top of all the responsibilities you have. The best thing to do is sit down with hubby and talk to him.

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 1:33 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I would have kicked him in the balls. Seriously how fuckin' rude! I am fat and it my husband said that to me he would he a sad sad boy after I was finished with him. It is just so damn rude.

    I love Craig Ferguson. Here is his take on the matter...

    "I like larger women. That's right, I said it! And there's a name for men like me and it's HETEROSEXUAL! Seriously ladies, if your man is telling you that you need to be skinnier and lose weight he's not your husband, he's not your boyfriend, he's your gay roommate/friend who can't keep his mouth shut" -Craig Ferguson, Comedian-


    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:59 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • When he's told me a couple of times that I need to watch my weight I got upset too and told him "I may not be skinny anymore or look like a model, but you're no George Clooney either!"

    Answer by Ashoonik at 2:23 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • omg sleepingbeautee I love your addition of craig ferguson's take on it, I also love him and its so true. the way society has branned what the perfect woman looks like is based on fashion and what the fashion designers want us to look like. How many straight men do you know of that are fashion designers, straight men should be wanting curves and not a woman with the body of a boy. I'm a bigger girl and Im learning to embrace the pudge I am lucky enough to hold my weight in such a way that no one believes I'm as heavy as I am or wear the size of jeans I do but its still hard being out and about and seeing the tiny girls and feeling like a hippo around them and my husband loves me just as I am thankfully and if he did say something like that I would be hurt, crying and pissed

    Answer by DianeMary at 2:53 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Remind him you are pregnant again!! Then tell him that you only commented on his morning breath, and that you would not have subjected him to morning breath. Next time he tries to warm up to you, tell him, no, I don't think so, I am too fat. and walk away. He will think twice before he says that again.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 4:16 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I lost pretty much any figure I had when I had DH. I gained 60lbs lost 30 n te first two weeks/ giving birth with my ds, and I still have another 30-50 id LOVE to lose. Luckily Im one of those people who dont look like what I weigh, so its not soo bad. I was not bean pole before I got preggo, but Id definately hav a talk with your guy and let him know that was cool with you at all. Even if he was upset by something you said.

    Answer by kgrine at 9:14 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • my SO teases me right now and is calling me chubby bunny, i know he is only joking with me, i am 32weeks pregnant, sometimes it bothers me other times not , he is a big jokester... but then a few minutes later he will kiss me and tell me how good i look.. my weight has shifted teh year we have been together since i got pregnant but i still weigh less than i did when we met

    Answer by jenn660 at 10:39 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I'd be pretty hurt if my hubby said that to me.

    Answer by popzaroo at 12:54 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

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